Why is it that things always happen on Mondays ? It's not just that things appear worse because it's Monday - more bad stuff actually happens on Monday. It's 24 hours long, just like every other day of the week, yet more crap seems to be thrown at you on this particular day. I went to bed at midnight after being shattered all day and was suddenly hit by a bout of insomnia which lasted until 4am. At 7am I woke up, tired and confused and, in a moment of weakness, broke my cigarette fast. It wasn't anything special actually so I don't really want any more, which I suppose was a good result. But I have been kicking myself half the day in case this becomes the "just one" which breaks the whole effort. Seems I've got away with it though. Secondly, got to work to be instructed that this was to be a hellish week with far too much to do. Given that I've got a train to Turku to begin the long trek home on Friday afternoon and have to escape from work early for that, it means I'll have even less time to work on what I have to do. This wouldn't be a problem if I could stay later at work to finish this off, but I also have to complete a statistics course project on SPSS. For those of you who haven't become acquainted with SPSS, it's a horribly pointless piece of software which is being lumped on poor unsuspecting students in a worldwide conspiracy to make us think that we're far more stupid than we actually are. I went through an emotional rollercoaster over 6 weeks to try to complete this course with a modicum of understanding for the complexities of this programme - how it works, what those numbers are supposed to mean, what the point of it all is - and after much psychological torture I finally emerged unscathed with one task left - complete a term paper by Friday in order to get course credits. I did nearly half of it last week. Today, I came to the library to continue it and noticed that for some reason the version I was using no longer has a valid license on the school computers. There's a newer version and it doesn't understand my saved work. In weeks gone by I would have stepped outside and furiously puffed on a cigarette while muttering under my breath. These days I'm limited to muttering under my breath and I have to say, while it's much better for my health, it doesn't feel quite as satisfying.
Hence I am proposing making Monday the last day of the weekend, which will leave us an extra 8 hours to deal with all the crap that gets thrown at us.
Dec 10, 2008
An Alternative Method
A while back I claimed that "Today I'm taking my first step in quitting smoking". That was October 30th and, once again, it amounted to not much as I tried to slow down, cut down one day at a time, eliminate the post-metro fag or the out-of-work fag without much success. In any case, if I didn't have it one day I just had it half an hour later when I got back home. I also realised that I would spend about as much money between now and September as I did on my flights to Lebanon and Syria. The result of this was that, by my own twisted logic, if I quit smoking now, the holiday to the Middle East would be my reward, and it would be free !
For this and other reasons, I went cold turkey two days ago. I've been clean for 38 hours now and, although I've had some close calls, it's been relatively plain sailing. The funny thing I've noticed is that there are a lot of mind games going on that I'm playing with myself. As I'm walking down the street and not smoking I find myself thinking that I can always have a cigar instead and that won't count. Or trying to work out if it's possible to have a cigarette every x days or weeks without being considered "a smoker". Last night, I tried to reason with myself in order to justify having one on the balcony. It just takes a moment of clarity to realise this and tell myself to shut up and keep pushing forward with this but in the heat of the moment I don't really realise that this is what's going on and I'm hoping I don't slip up. I still have nothing against them and would have no problem having one from time to time but my main priority here is to be free of them, to be able to look at a cigarette the same way I look at a beer - as something that's nice to have from time to time but which will cause me absolutely no grief if I don't have it. I'm not there yet but I've got into the swing and I think I've got over the first difficult wave. I'm anticipating one or two more and then, as I claimed on October 30th, I would be smoke-free by the new year !
I haven't noticed any differences yet but, like the mind games my subconscious is playing with me to justify sneaking one in, I'm playing games with it too. When I walk, I breathe in heavily and tell myself my lungs are filling up more than they used to. I run up the escalator coming out of the metro and tell myself I feel better that I would have last week. I make myself look down on people smoking, telling myself they are going to be stuck as slaves to the Marlboro corporation. All the while, I'd quite fancy one myself but with some intense concentration it's possible and I'm quite honestly surprised that it hasn't been more difficult.
Again, watch this space !
For this and other reasons, I went cold turkey two days ago. I've been clean for 38 hours now and, although I've had some close calls, it's been relatively plain sailing. The funny thing I've noticed is that there are a lot of mind games going on that I'm playing with myself. As I'm walking down the street and not smoking I find myself thinking that I can always have a cigar instead and that won't count. Or trying to work out if it's possible to have a cigarette every x days or weeks without being considered "a smoker". Last night, I tried to reason with myself in order to justify having one on the balcony. It just takes a moment of clarity to realise this and tell myself to shut up and keep pushing forward with this but in the heat of the moment I don't really realise that this is what's going on and I'm hoping I don't slip up. I still have nothing against them and would have no problem having one from time to time but my main priority here is to be free of them, to be able to look at a cigarette the same way I look at a beer - as something that's nice to have from time to time but which will cause me absolutely no grief if I don't have it. I'm not there yet but I've got into the swing and I think I've got over the first difficult wave. I'm anticipating one or two more and then, as I claimed on October 30th, I would be smoke-free by the new year !
I haven't noticed any differences yet but, like the mind games my subconscious is playing with me to justify sneaking one in, I'm playing games with it too. When I walk, I breathe in heavily and tell myself my lungs are filling up more than they used to. I run up the escalator coming out of the metro and tell myself I feel better that I would have last week. I make myself look down on people smoking, telling myself they are going to be stuck as slaves to the Marlboro corporation. All the while, I'd quite fancy one myself but with some intense concentration it's possible and I'm quite honestly surprised that it hasn't been more difficult.
Again, watch this space !
Dec 5, 2008
Impulse Purchase
I'm not usually an impulse purchase fan. It seems to me to be the epitome of "shop for the hell of it". Given that I'm an enormous hypocrite, of course, I tend to do it quite a bit myself. Usually, though, it's been limited to chocolate bars while queueing for the shop check-out and the like.
Today though, I impulse purchased a holiday. M's going on a girly trip to Paris and, given that I'm not a girly, I'm barred from the trip. In a fit of jealous rage and in order to not be sitting around bored all weekend, I decided to go see some friends in Poland at the same time. Flights weren't easy to hunt down when I looked at them yesterday (meaning that they were very easy to hunt down, but not for cheap) so I extended my horizons slightly. Half an hour later I was drooling over a cheap deal to the Middle East. Today I asked my boss for some days off around the Easter weekend and tonight I whipped out M's Visa card and bought it. It's come so quickly that it hasn't really sunk in ! So on the 8th of April I'm hopping on a plane to Beirut. 6 days later, my return will be taking off from Damascus. It seems I'm going alone and I really don't know what to find there. It's the first time I'll have really travelled by myself (aside from little overland A-to-B trips in Europe) and my first time in the Middle East (or indeed any part of Asia) so it'll be an interesting trip - both in terms of discovering a new part of the world and maybe discovering myself a little.
Very cool. I'm very happy. And excited. And, most of all, I'm wondering how to break this news to my mother.
Today though, I impulse purchased a holiday. M's going on a girly trip to Paris and, given that I'm not a girly, I'm barred from the trip. In a fit of jealous rage and in order to not be sitting around bored all weekend, I decided to go see some friends in Poland at the same time. Flights weren't easy to hunt down when I looked at them yesterday (meaning that they were very easy to hunt down, but not for cheap) so I extended my horizons slightly. Half an hour later I was drooling over a cheap deal to the Middle East. Today I asked my boss for some days off around the Easter weekend and tonight I whipped out M's Visa card and bought it. It's come so quickly that it hasn't really sunk in ! So on the 8th of April I'm hopping on a plane to Beirut. 6 days later, my return will be taking off from Damascus. It seems I'm going alone and I really don't know what to find there. It's the first time I'll have really travelled by myself (aside from little overland A-to-B trips in Europe) and my first time in the Middle East (or indeed any part of Asia) so it'll be an interesting trip - both in terms of discovering a new part of the world and maybe discovering myself a little.
Very cool. I'm very happy. And excited. And, most of all, I'm wondering how to break this news to my mother.
Nov 25, 2008
Jingle Bells
Over recent weeks I've seen an increase in emails from my mother arriving to my inbox - they deal with various issues but one running theme is a request for information regarding what M and I want for Christmas. I usually respond with a half-baked answer, attempting to give some kind of direction without giving away that I really have no idea and can't help her on this.
So, Christmas is coming. Everyone has an opinion on it, and I'm no exception. Whereas most people militantly hate or love Christmas though, I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm really not bothered about it at all. The only reason I ever liked it as a kid was the presents - once they were out of the way the day lost its gloss completely, especially if the presents sucked. I have no religious or spiritual reason to celebrate Christmas. The presents are still cool though, and it's one of the few times the family gets together (especially with mine being pretty far flung - my parents in France, my sister in Belgium and me up here). That, however, is potentially explosive and tends to give Christmas get-togethers a slightly predictable tune.
Everyone turns up to my parents house with a role to play and, I would imagine, this is the same all over. Mothers who haven't seen their kids for a while will be overjoyed to see them and will attempt to impose an "everyone must be happy at this happy time" regime which, while it is commendable, is usually in vain because an argument will break out at some point. When she sees that her quest has failed (yet again) she will become disappointed and withdrawn.
Sisters, on the other hand, will come to the Christmas gathering with the aim of imposing their will on all present. This stamping of authority extends to all Christmas-specific issues - the size of the tree to be purchased, the decoration of said tree, the order in which presents are to be dished out, the amount of, and regularity with which, doting love must be lavished on the dog, the amount of attention they should get. With a total of 7 people and 2 dogs this Christmas, that will involve a lot more dictatorial behaviour. Given that I am enthusiastic neither about Christmas trees nor dogs, nor indeed following orders on such trivial matters as how presents should be handed out, I usually lose patience and tell her to leave everyone alone to do as they wish. This prompts an explosion of rage and lamentations full of self-pity about why she bothers trying to make this fun in the first place. Mothers (who have seen this argument and reacted negatively as described above) and sisters (who are seething with anger and need to stamp authority on someone having failed to do so with their brothers) then have a blazing argument with each other. Fathers then step in to calm things down and usually make it worse. As a result, he starts to read his newspaper while everyone else sits around being quiet.
As the day wears on, everyone will lighten up, food will be cooked and chatter will swirl around once more. This Christmas peace will last until after the dinner when someone will invariably suggest playing a game. Here, the old rivalries rear their heads again. In my family the tradition game has been Trivial Pursuit - teams can get together, have a laugh, everyone has fun. Apart from the sister of the family, that is, for she despises (or at least pretends to despise) Trivial Pursuit. Having studied politics for many years I can see her approach tactics quite well. The dictator wishes to impose his dictates on the population but, of course, cannot do it alone. Therefore, the dictator backs him/herself up with military force. Given the lack of a frightening figure in the family, the dictator must revert to some kind of non-ruling moral authority. This is Mamie - our grandmother. The dictator's choice of game will be rejected by the population (mother and brother) while the moral authority will be cajoled into giving her blessing. The international community (father) then falls asleep. This is when the mother and the brother end up playing Trivial Pursuit anyway, the sister storms off in another fit of rage, boyfriends and girlfriends sit looking slightly awkward, and the curtain comes down on yet another family Christmas.
I'm usually an optimist of sorts but when it comes to Christmas, things are far too inevitable to have any illusions about what's going to happen next month. This is why Christmas is something I'm not particularly bothered about.
So, Christmas is coming. Everyone has an opinion on it, and I'm no exception. Whereas most people militantly hate or love Christmas though, I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm really not bothered about it at all. The only reason I ever liked it as a kid was the presents - once they were out of the way the day lost its gloss completely, especially if the presents sucked. I have no religious or spiritual reason to celebrate Christmas. The presents are still cool though, and it's one of the few times the family gets together (especially with mine being pretty far flung - my parents in France, my sister in Belgium and me up here). That, however, is potentially explosive and tends to give Christmas get-togethers a slightly predictable tune.
Everyone turns up to my parents house with a role to play and, I would imagine, this is the same all over. Mothers who haven't seen their kids for a while will be overjoyed to see them and will attempt to impose an "everyone must be happy at this happy time" regime which, while it is commendable, is usually in vain because an argument will break out at some point. When she sees that her quest has failed (yet again) she will become disappointed and withdrawn.
Sisters, on the other hand, will come to the Christmas gathering with the aim of imposing their will on all present. This stamping of authority extends to all Christmas-specific issues - the size of the tree to be purchased, the decoration of said tree, the order in which presents are to be dished out, the amount of, and regularity with which, doting love must be lavished on the dog, the amount of attention they should get. With a total of 7 people and 2 dogs this Christmas, that will involve a lot more dictatorial behaviour. Given that I am enthusiastic neither about Christmas trees nor dogs, nor indeed following orders on such trivial matters as how presents should be handed out, I usually lose patience and tell her to leave everyone alone to do as they wish. This prompts an explosion of rage and lamentations full of self-pity about why she bothers trying to make this fun in the first place. Mothers (who have seen this argument and reacted negatively as described above) and sisters (who are seething with anger and need to stamp authority on someone having failed to do so with their brothers) then have a blazing argument with each other. Fathers then step in to calm things down and usually make it worse. As a result, he starts to read his newspaper while everyone else sits around being quiet.
As the day wears on, everyone will lighten up, food will be cooked and chatter will swirl around once more. This Christmas peace will last until after the dinner when someone will invariably suggest playing a game. Here, the old rivalries rear their heads again. In my family the tradition game has been Trivial Pursuit - teams can get together, have a laugh, everyone has fun. Apart from the sister of the family, that is, for she despises (or at least pretends to despise) Trivial Pursuit. Having studied politics for many years I can see her approach tactics quite well. The dictator wishes to impose his dictates on the population but, of course, cannot do it alone. Therefore, the dictator backs him/herself up with military force. Given the lack of a frightening figure in the family, the dictator must revert to some kind of non-ruling moral authority. This is Mamie - our grandmother. The dictator's choice of game will be rejected by the population (mother and brother) while the moral authority will be cajoled into giving her blessing. The international community (father) then falls asleep. This is when the mother and the brother end up playing Trivial Pursuit anyway, the sister storms off in another fit of rage, boyfriends and girlfriends sit looking slightly awkward, and the curtain comes down on yet another family Christmas.
I'm usually an optimist of sorts but when it comes to Christmas, things are far too inevitable to have any illusions about what's going to happen next month. This is why Christmas is something I'm not particularly bothered about.
Nov 17, 2008
Parting of ways
I'll be focusing all of my Africa-trip-related writing on me new blog - so bookmark THIS !
I will continue to dish out abuse to George W. Bush, Finland and various other (un)deserving targets right here. Don't go away !
I will continue to dish out abuse to George W. Bush, Finland and various other (un)deserving targets right here. Don't go away !
Nov 14, 2008
299 days...
We've finally done it. On September 8th, M and I will be boarding a plane, one-way tickets in hand, heading to Tunisia. We'll head east, turn right when we hit Cairo and follow the Nile down through Sudan to Ethiopia. From there we'll bum around various parts of Africa with a delightfully vague plan. The plan before then is to save as much money as humanly possible.
There are several things, I've noticed, that will take a lot of getting used to after all this time in Finland. My trips to Africa before haven't been fraught with all of these enormous culture shocks, but I've been in Helsinki for much longer now. And I can imagine that the following will be the most bizarre.
- The way the people look. They'll be black. Black, with black hair. Black, curly hair. There are a few Somalis living in Helsinki but still, the overwhelming majority of people are blonde, blue eyed and pasty-skinned. In fact if they didn't like wearing black clothes so much, they would be completely camouflaged once the snow came.
- The way the people act. I once again waited for the elevator coming back home after work tonight and as I was standing there a girl came in through the door, started coming towards the elevator and (shock horror !) I was there waiting for it. Rather than share an elevator with a stranger she turned, walked the length of the corridor and went up the stairs. This is quite a common occurrence here. Finns (at least when they are sober, which some of the time they are) have an inviolatable personal space the size of a small house. Africans have never heard of personal space.
- Communication skills. Being spoken to by complete strangers is something I've generally been used to and had no problem with, but it will still come as a bit of a shock now. How will I deal with this ?
- The temperature. What else is there to say ? An African winter is the same temperature as a Finnish summer. I love the heat though and, although I scored only the second sunburn of my life last summer here in Helsinki, I'm still filled with optimism.
In 299 days, we'll be there. Until then, life will be cold, dark, wet and mostly quite silent. At least I'll have a lot of space to reflect on this while I'm in the elevator.
There are several things, I've noticed, that will take a lot of getting used to after all this time in Finland. My trips to Africa before haven't been fraught with all of these enormous culture shocks, but I've been in Helsinki for much longer now. And I can imagine that the following will be the most bizarre.
- The way the people look. They'll be black. Black, with black hair. Black, curly hair. There are a few Somalis living in Helsinki but still, the overwhelming majority of people are blonde, blue eyed and pasty-skinned. In fact if they didn't like wearing black clothes so much, they would be completely camouflaged once the snow came.
- The way the people act. I once again waited for the elevator coming back home after work tonight and as I was standing there a girl came in through the door, started coming towards the elevator and (shock horror !) I was there waiting for it. Rather than share an elevator with a stranger she turned, walked the length of the corridor and went up the stairs. This is quite a common occurrence here. Finns (at least when they are sober, which some of the time they are) have an inviolatable personal space the size of a small house. Africans have never heard of personal space.
- Communication skills. Being spoken to by complete strangers is something I've generally been used to and had no problem with, but it will still come as a bit of a shock now. How will I deal with this ?
- The temperature. What else is there to say ? An African winter is the same temperature as a Finnish summer. I love the heat though and, although I scored only the second sunburn of my life last summer here in Helsinki, I'm still filled with optimism.
In 299 days, we'll be there. Until then, life will be cold, dark, wet and mostly quite silent. At least I'll have a lot of space to reflect on this while I'm in the elevator.
Nov 13, 2008
A Close Shave
Whoa. Even if we as non-Americans don't have a vote in their elections, we keep an eye on what happens there, and rightly so. The Americans have an unrivalled capacity to send large military forces anywhere in the world, bomb the crap out of just about anywhere they would want to, and kill with impunity around the planet. If they got wind of my office here producing something more suspicious than mobile phone games, they could flatten it without any notice and explain it away without much trouble (much like the Al-Shifa Factory bombing). If they didn't like the way the plane I'm taking this winter was flying, they could shoot it down without much of a care (like the shooting down of the Iran Air flight by the USS Vincennes). If Osama bin Laden was hiding out in the forests of Karelia and the army couldn't find him (and let's face it, anyone could get lost in those forests) they could invade leading to the deaths of millions and it would be described as collateral damage. Worst of all, I'd have to go buy a new shaver so as to not leave so much as a hint of a beard. Not that I have much of one now, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Disastrous economic management has led to a global slowdown in a way far more disastrous than would be engendered by disastrous economic management in, say, Tajikistan or Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.
They invade at will, carry out covert operations at will and aside from being responsible for the death of millions of civilians in Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and many others, they have been responsible for and tried to be responsible for the deaths of heads of state and government - Saddam Hussein and Patrice Lumumba were successfully disposed of, Fidel Castro was not, nor was Moammar Qadhafi (although his daughter was). They have overthrown the popularly elected Mohamed Mossadeq, Salvador Allende, the Sandinista movement and many others, replacing them with the pro-American choice and plunging those respective countries into chaos and discontentment. The first force to unify and impose law and order in Mogadishu in 18 years was expelled with American backing just because this force was composed of moderate Islamists. Mogadishu is once again lawless, being pounded to rubble and run by warlords. The bombing of Belgrade in the late 1990s, with the latest precision technology, succeeding in killing 3 Chinese journalists in the Chinese embassy in Belgrade, 15 people on a passenger train which was actually shot at twice (and described by Wesley Clark as an "uncanny incident" - can you imagine this happening if roles were reversed ?), hundreds of people in Kosovar refugee convoys and, in another "unfortunate" incident, a passenger bus near Pristina. The ambulance coming to pick up the wounded was itself, naturally, also bombed. The list goes on.
This exploration is far from exhaustive and, quite probably, what is available and known is far from exhaustive. As a consequence, us non-Americans naturally have a right to have an interest in who is elected to the White House. We have a right to be extremely concerned when a McCain-Palin double act comes remotely close to accessing the power to do all of this. I've been looking back on things and wondering what was bugging me about Sarah Palin. It wasn't her Bushesque stupidity and mindblowing inability to construct a sentence, because while I found it very concerning that such a person should be in such a position of power I also find it quite amusing. I've come to think it's the complete transparency with which these people in the US get away with it. Let's not forget that Sarah Palin is already Governor of Alaska, she's not a nobody. She's got big ambitions, she's considering running for President again in 2012. I'll demonstrate what I mean with this by now famous video . I think the most striking thing here is the fact that there is complicity with all of us. She knows she's talking crap, Katie Couric knows she's talking crap, we know she's talking crap. However the whole circus just continues unabated. I've seen plenty of videos like this but no one in the American media ever seems to stand up to politicians and say hey, Buster, that's a bunch of crap. I've seen them blatantly lying on TV without being called to account for it, when it could so easily have been done. If there are any Americans who can explain why this is, please leave me a message ! George Bush, it seems, is a man who has perfected this "we all know I'm talking shit but let's just pretend it's true" approach to stuff. Palin is a remarkable student and McCain has shown he's no pushover in the subject either. I'm not sure what it is about the Republicans in general, but I feel that it has something to do with my piece on the word "evil" from earlier on. Democrats persuade Americans to vote for them based on the real issues - Republicans persuade Americans to vote for them in the same way that they'd persuade a small kid to give them their lollipops. I just don't believe a word they say, even if it's more likely to be true. Nicolas Sarkozy, for all his faults, will tell someone in the streets to fuck off if he fancies it. The proof is that he already has. We can trust a guy like that to some extent.
So the result was quite a rare event - US voters have actually selected the more intelligent, less confrontational candidate of the two. I'm not going to cheer just yet, but let's give the new guy a chance. He's already said that he's ready to talk to Iran, Syria and so forth. This is something that we just wouldn't imagine hearing from the monkey currently in charge. It might restore a bit of trust and goodwill in the world and we might be able to get back towards working together rather than hating each other. Besides, if I was American, I'd much rather have Michelle Obama as a First Lady than Cindy McCain...
They invade at will, carry out covert operations at will and aside from being responsible for the death of millions of civilians in Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and many others, they have been responsible for and tried to be responsible for the deaths of heads of state and government - Saddam Hussein and Patrice Lumumba were successfully disposed of, Fidel Castro was not, nor was Moammar Qadhafi (although his daughter was). They have overthrown the popularly elected Mohamed Mossadeq, Salvador Allende, the Sandinista movement and many others, replacing them with the pro-American choice and plunging those respective countries into chaos and discontentment. The first force to unify and impose law and order in Mogadishu in 18 years was expelled with American backing just because this force was composed of moderate Islamists. Mogadishu is once again lawless, being pounded to rubble and run by warlords. The bombing of Belgrade in the late 1990s, with the latest precision technology, succeeding in killing 3 Chinese journalists in the Chinese embassy in Belgrade, 15 people on a passenger train which was actually shot at twice (and described by Wesley Clark as an "uncanny incident" - can you imagine this happening if roles were reversed ?), hundreds of people in Kosovar refugee convoys and, in another "unfortunate" incident, a passenger bus near Pristina. The ambulance coming to pick up the wounded was itself, naturally, also bombed. The list goes on.
This exploration is far from exhaustive and, quite probably, what is available and known is far from exhaustive. As a consequence, us non-Americans naturally have a right to have an interest in who is elected to the White House. We have a right to be extremely concerned when a McCain-Palin double act comes remotely close to accessing the power to do all of this. I've been looking back on things and wondering what was bugging me about Sarah Palin. It wasn't her Bushesque stupidity and mindblowing inability to construct a sentence, because while I found it very concerning that such a person should be in such a position of power I also find it quite amusing. I've come to think it's the complete transparency with which these people in the US get away with it. Let's not forget that Sarah Palin is already Governor of Alaska, she's not a nobody. She's got big ambitions, she's considering running for President again in 2012. I'll demonstrate what I mean with this by now famous video . I think the most striking thing here is the fact that there is complicity with all of us. She knows she's talking crap, Katie Couric knows she's talking crap, we know she's talking crap. However the whole circus just continues unabated. I've seen plenty of videos like this but no one in the American media ever seems to stand up to politicians and say hey, Buster, that's a bunch of crap. I've seen them blatantly lying on TV without being called to account for it, when it could so easily have been done. If there are any Americans who can explain why this is, please leave me a message ! George Bush, it seems, is a man who has perfected this "we all know I'm talking shit but let's just pretend it's true" approach to stuff. Palin is a remarkable student and McCain has shown he's no pushover in the subject either. I'm not sure what it is about the Republicans in general, but I feel that it has something to do with my piece on the word "evil" from earlier on. Democrats persuade Americans to vote for them based on the real issues - Republicans persuade Americans to vote for them in the same way that they'd persuade a small kid to give them their lollipops. I just don't believe a word they say, even if it's more likely to be true. Nicolas Sarkozy, for all his faults, will tell someone in the streets to fuck off if he fancies it. The proof is that he already has. We can trust a guy like that to some extent.
So the result was quite a rare event - US voters have actually selected the more intelligent, less confrontational candidate of the two. I'm not going to cheer just yet, but let's give the new guy a chance. He's already said that he's ready to talk to Iran, Syria and so forth. This is something that we just wouldn't imagine hearing from the monkey currently in charge. It might restore a bit of trust and goodwill in the world and we might be able to get back towards working together rather than hating each other. Besides, if I was American, I'd much rather have Michelle Obama as a First Lady than Cindy McCain...
Oct 30, 2008
Declaration of Intent
Today I'm taking my first step in quitting smoking. I've said this half-heartedly many times before (including once ceremonially throwing the last cigarette and my lighter into the trash) and none of those efforts lasted very long so this time I'm declaring it to the world. I don't spend all that much money on it (about 20€ a month - about what I get in tips on a good night, or the same as 4 pints of beer) and it doesn't consume my life. On a heavy day I might get through 10 or 12, and it never stops me from doing anything. I never feel the urge to sneak out of the cinema half way to have one. I can get on a long bus ride and not go crazy while I'm inside it. It's just a habit which I don't really need and, while it's not killing me (at least not yet), I remember I used to live quiet happily before I started when I was 21. M has skin problems which she thinks are linked to it so she's trying to slow down too. The final contributing factor is that I forgot my lighter at home this morning and I'm taking that as a sign. I'm not going cold turkey right away and it'll be a gradual process but I want to be smoke free (or at least reduced) by the end of the year.
The problem being that I'm not completely hooked on them and if I can get rid of the habit smokes (e.g. the "getting off the metro" cigarette, the "getting out of work" cigarette and the "waiting for the tram/bus and 10 minutes with nothing to do" cigarette) then I do enjoy having one from time to time. However I've decided to launch this challenge and we'll see how it goes. The main problems I have identified will be that
1) I've just bought a packet of tobacco so I'll probably be getting through that
2) These post-metro, post-work and pre-bus/tram cigs have become such a habit that I sometimes find myself lighting up without even thinking about it
3) The trip to the Balkans will be an enormous test of resolve given that, over there, people probably breathe larger quantities of cigarette smoke than they do of oxygen
4) There really isn't all that much else to do here.
The smoking ban probably helps although since everyone goes outside now you have to machete your way through a cloud of smoke to actually get into any bars. And then there is, of course, the with-beer cigarette which will be a tough one to give up. On the positive side :
1) It'll soon be so cold here that holding a cigarette with oversized gloves will be quite difficult
2) There will be absolutely no motivation to go and smoke on the balcony in -30 degrees
3) My fingers will be too cold to roll them
One little bone I have to pick with the smoking ban though, although it helps me in my task - why do they have to apply it everywhere ? Some places just HAVE to be smoky atmospheres. The bar I used to go to on Friday nights at school was what it was partly because the inside was so misty, and a few days ago I went to a pool hall which felt quite frankly sterile without any cigarette smoke. Even before I started, I recognised the contribution of smoke to the atmosphere of a pool hall and things just aren't the same without it.
Watch this space.
The problem being that I'm not completely hooked on them and if I can get rid of the habit smokes (e.g. the "getting off the metro" cigarette, the "getting out of work" cigarette and the "waiting for the tram/bus and 10 minutes with nothing to do" cigarette) then I do enjoy having one from time to time. However I've decided to launch this challenge and we'll see how it goes. The main problems I have identified will be that
1) I've just bought a packet of tobacco so I'll probably be getting through that
2) These post-metro, post-work and pre-bus/tram cigs have become such a habit that I sometimes find myself lighting up without even thinking about it
3) The trip to the Balkans will be an enormous test of resolve given that, over there, people probably breathe larger quantities of cigarette smoke than they do of oxygen
4) There really isn't all that much else to do here.
The smoking ban probably helps although since everyone goes outside now you have to machete your way through a cloud of smoke to actually get into any bars. And then there is, of course, the with-beer cigarette which will be a tough one to give up. On the positive side :
1) It'll soon be so cold here that holding a cigarette with oversized gloves will be quite difficult
2) There will be absolutely no motivation to go and smoke on the balcony in -30 degrees
3) My fingers will be too cold to roll them
One little bone I have to pick with the smoking ban though, although it helps me in my task - why do they have to apply it everywhere ? Some places just HAVE to be smoky atmospheres. The bar I used to go to on Friday nights at school was what it was partly because the inside was so misty, and a few days ago I went to a pool hall which felt quite frankly sterile without any cigarette smoke. Even before I started, I recognised the contribution of smoke to the atmosphere of a pool hall and things just aren't the same without it.
Watch this space.
Oct 24, 2008
Talvi tulee
If I haven't written much recently that is because (as usual) nothing much has happened. Helsinki had degenerated into a closer-to-winter state. It's darker every day when I leave for work, and it's darker every day when I leave to go home. If it wasn't for fag breaks I'd never see full daylight. Yesterday was M's birthday so we went to Manhattan Steak House (I mention the name in case anyone was thinking of going there to have spare ribs - don't bother). I went to the States 10 years ago but if there's one thing that stands out in my mind there it's that, if you go to a restaurant, they make sure that you'll roll out rather than walking. The Americans haven't got absolutely everything right in life but feeding people is certainly something they do very well, and Europe could do well to follow suit. It might even get me eating out a bit more.
This weekend saw the delights of Finland combine to screw things up somewhat. I'd got M a skydive for her birthday, which was promptly cancelled because of crap weather. The restaurant was quite an experience - on the walk there I'd decided that I wasn't expecting much conversation from the others and when I got there and saw I was up the end of the table this suspicion was strengthened. M's friends, I'm assured, have nothing against me and I do like to integrate into the culture I'm in and accept that things are how they are. However when only one of the 7 says hello to me and the same is the only one who says goodbye at the end of it and that only 2 others actually say a word to me at all, I'm struggling to keep myself from thinking that I could have evaporated at some point during the meal and no one would have noticed or really been bothered. There are some things that I'm going to miss when I leave Finland but the social scene and the weather are not among them.
Winter brings with it the threat of illness, of course, and this is something that Finns are very well prepared for. I don't think I've ever come across any nation of people who have so many drugs in their closets or know so much about what every single medicine does - it's a wonder there are any doctors at all in Finland when everyone knows exactly what kind of medical complaint they have, and probably have the cure at home somewhere. When I arrived here, I realised that I had a bad reaction to mosquitos and I was actually given a choice of two antihistamines and asked which one I preferred. People ritually take painkillers whenever they wake up hungover here, of strengths which no one else would even consider touching. When I had mononucleosis, I took 400mg pills to handle the infection and the huge angina that came with it. People swallow 800mg here after too much beer the night before. I'm actually scared of sneezing on the streets here in case I spark of a stampede of people running to offer me part of the first aid kits which they lump around with them in case of a major medical emergency - coughing, having an itch, being splashed by a passing car and so on. With my ex (who I was with for a year and a half or so) I had about 5 MAJOR cancer scares ! It must be horrible to live in a way where you're constantly on death's doorstep but, just like the weather and the difficulties experienced with communication, the Finns have adapted. This combined with their dramatic intake of coffee makes me wonder what the people in this country would be like without any medicines/stimulants (lactose-free of course)/vitamin supplements or anything. I'd imagine they'd all be dead or, alternatively, normal.
This weekend saw the delights of Finland combine to screw things up somewhat. I'd got M a skydive for her birthday, which was promptly cancelled because of crap weather. The restaurant was quite an experience - on the walk there I'd decided that I wasn't expecting much conversation from the others and when I got there and saw I was up the end of the table this suspicion was strengthened. M's friends, I'm assured, have nothing against me and I do like to integrate into the culture I'm in and accept that things are how they are. However when only one of the 7 says hello to me and the same is the only one who says goodbye at the end of it and that only 2 others actually say a word to me at all, I'm struggling to keep myself from thinking that I could have evaporated at some point during the meal and no one would have noticed or really been bothered. There are some things that I'm going to miss when I leave Finland but the social scene and the weather are not among them.
Winter brings with it the threat of illness, of course, and this is something that Finns are very well prepared for. I don't think I've ever come across any nation of people who have so many drugs in their closets or know so much about what every single medicine does - it's a wonder there are any doctors at all in Finland when everyone knows exactly what kind of medical complaint they have, and probably have the cure at home somewhere. When I arrived here, I realised that I had a bad reaction to mosquitos and I was actually given a choice of two antihistamines and asked which one I preferred. People ritually take painkillers whenever they wake up hungover here, of strengths which no one else would even consider touching. When I had mononucleosis, I took 400mg pills to handle the infection and the huge angina that came with it. People swallow 800mg here after too much beer the night before. I'm actually scared of sneezing on the streets here in case I spark of a stampede of people running to offer me part of the first aid kits which they lump around with them in case of a major medical emergency - coughing, having an itch, being splashed by a passing car and so on. With my ex (who I was with for a year and a half or so) I had about 5 MAJOR cancer scares ! It must be horrible to live in a way where you're constantly on death's doorstep but, just like the weather and the difficulties experienced with communication, the Finns have adapted. This combined with their dramatic intake of coffee makes me wonder what the people in this country would be like without any medicines/stimulants (lactose-free of course)/vitamin supplements or anything. I'd imagine they'd all be dead or, alternatively, normal.
Oct 7, 2008
Autumn thoughts
Autumn has arrived in Helsinki. This is usually characterised by one of many things.
Firstly, the leaves all turn various shades of brown, which is admittedly quite nice and I would probably enjoy it if it didn't signal the imminent arrival of 6 months of freezing my butt off. The Finns have a word, "ruska", which means the brown colour that leaves take on in the autumn. The Finns are well known for being close to nature and, even if it's being lost now as people are staying in the city to pursue activities such as working and going to the pub, there are still many times of year where Helsinki empties out completely and is strangely quiet as everyone disappears off to their cabins in the forest. While I've been here I've done many nature-related things that I haven't done anywhere else - going out looking for flying squirrels, cross-country skiing in the woods, shooting fish with harpoons, and a few weeks back a work trip was organised to a national park to go hiking around the forest in this newly found brown colour. In a bid to discover if the Finns just are close enough to nature to have a word that means "the brown colour that leaves take on in the autumn", I went onto Wikipedia to see what it translates as - the only other languages with one word for this seemed to be Afrikaans (Herfskleure) and Japanese (紅葉). Visually, it's quite a nice time of year. The immense amount of leaves on the ground, though, cause havoc to the half-asleep early morning commuter such as myself due to another factor of this season.
That second factor is the wind, which for some reason arrives in enormous amounts around this time of year. Many Finns in fact have taken holidays to the Caribbean given that they find the lashings of Hurricane Ike et al. quite peaceful compared to the battering they would get walking down a street in Helsinki. Heavy winds plus lots of leaves results in you getting assaulted by various pieces of foliage on your way to work especially if you work in a tree-filled area like I do. Although it's annoying (and let's face it, what isn't at that time of morning ?), it's quite good for waking you up. Another positive aspect of the wind coming at high speeds at this time of year is as a result of the average Finn starting to don headgear due to the dropping temperatures. It's not cold enough for the heavy duty woolly hats of winter but the citizen of Helsinki still likes to protect his head from the cooler air and the baseball cap appears to be the item of choice at the moment. This, of course, leads to crowds of young men running around desperately chasing caps which the wind is carrying off, which is clearly quite amusing. I've noticed that the "wind blowing cap off head routine" usually follows a very rigid pattern.
1) Cap blows off from head
2) Ex-cap wearer notices this but for some reason pats his head anyway, just to verify that it is, in fact, gone
3) Ex-cap wearer looks startled
4) Ex-cap wearer turns around many more times than is necessary in a desperate attempt to locate the cap before it has been blown half way to Turku
5) Ex-cap wearer runs towards the cap and tries to pick it up just as it is blown away by another gust of wind
6) Repeat ad nauseam
7) Ex-cap wearer eventually gets pissed off and jumps onto the cap, having to then brush it off but being thankful to be reunited with it nonetheless.
It's one of those things that shouldn't really be very interesting but it breaks the monotony of everyday life and I'll generally stop to have a good look.
It's probably the fact of finding this entertaining (as well as realising that all I do is work, wash up, do laundry, cook, eat and sit around waiting for something to happen) which make me wonder how people can survive as office monkeys for 40 years before retiring to a beach somewhere to soak up the rays before they die. It's nice to have a couple of jobs and get some money coming in but it's not very fulfilling is it ? More fulfilling than watching Big Brother or Pop Idol, admittedly, but still not immensely so. For once, I'm not going to blame Finland for this - I'd imagine workers the world over have the same syndrome but I suppose most people are also content enough with it to stay in the hamster wheel. M and I are off to the Balkans in December so hopefully I can rekindle the excitement in life a little. Until then, I'll keep working, washing up, eating and watching peoples' caps blow off.
In another bid to spice up life a little, I've recently discovered the Darwin Awards website, which honours people who died in quite frankly ridiculous ways. It's worth a little look, if only to feel slightly better about yourself after reading about the Chinese woman who died after climbing into a volcano to get better pictures, the Italian who perished while trying to protect his car by placing himself between it and an express train, the Polish man who tried to prove his manliness by removing his head with a chainsaw, or the German who allowed himself to be shot dead by his own dog. It's riveting stuff and can be found at www.darwinawards.com/darwin.
Have a good autumn !
Firstly, the leaves all turn various shades of brown, which is admittedly quite nice and I would probably enjoy it if it didn't signal the imminent arrival of 6 months of freezing my butt off. The Finns have a word, "ruska", which means the brown colour that leaves take on in the autumn. The Finns are well known for being close to nature and, even if it's being lost now as people are staying in the city to pursue activities such as working and going to the pub, there are still many times of year where Helsinki empties out completely and is strangely quiet as everyone disappears off to their cabins in the forest. While I've been here I've done many nature-related things that I haven't done anywhere else - going out looking for flying squirrels, cross-country skiing in the woods, shooting fish with harpoons, and a few weeks back a work trip was organised to a national park to go hiking around the forest in this newly found brown colour. In a bid to discover if the Finns just are close enough to nature to have a word that means "the brown colour that leaves take on in the autumn", I went onto Wikipedia to see what it translates as - the only other languages with one word for this seemed to be Afrikaans (Herfskleure) and Japanese (紅葉). Visually, it's quite a nice time of year. The immense amount of leaves on the ground, though, cause havoc to the half-asleep early morning commuter such as myself due to another factor of this season.
That second factor is the wind, which for some reason arrives in enormous amounts around this time of year. Many Finns in fact have taken holidays to the Caribbean given that they find the lashings of Hurricane Ike et al. quite peaceful compared to the battering they would get walking down a street in Helsinki. Heavy winds plus lots of leaves results in you getting assaulted by various pieces of foliage on your way to work especially if you work in a tree-filled area like I do. Although it's annoying (and let's face it, what isn't at that time of morning ?), it's quite good for waking you up. Another positive aspect of the wind coming at high speeds at this time of year is as a result of the average Finn starting to don headgear due to the dropping temperatures. It's not cold enough for the heavy duty woolly hats of winter but the citizen of Helsinki still likes to protect his head from the cooler air and the baseball cap appears to be the item of choice at the moment. This, of course, leads to crowds of young men running around desperately chasing caps which the wind is carrying off, which is clearly quite amusing. I've noticed that the "wind blowing cap off head routine" usually follows a very rigid pattern.
1) Cap blows off from head
2) Ex-cap wearer notices this but for some reason pats his head anyway, just to verify that it is, in fact, gone
3) Ex-cap wearer looks startled
4) Ex-cap wearer turns around many more times than is necessary in a desperate attempt to locate the cap before it has been blown half way to Turku
5) Ex-cap wearer runs towards the cap and tries to pick it up just as it is blown away by another gust of wind
6) Repeat ad nauseam
7) Ex-cap wearer eventually gets pissed off and jumps onto the cap, having to then brush it off but being thankful to be reunited with it nonetheless.
It's one of those things that shouldn't really be very interesting but it breaks the monotony of everyday life and I'll generally stop to have a good look.
It's probably the fact of finding this entertaining (as well as realising that all I do is work, wash up, do laundry, cook, eat and sit around waiting for something to happen) which make me wonder how people can survive as office monkeys for 40 years before retiring to a beach somewhere to soak up the rays before they die. It's nice to have a couple of jobs and get some money coming in but it's not very fulfilling is it ? More fulfilling than watching Big Brother or Pop Idol, admittedly, but still not immensely so. For once, I'm not going to blame Finland for this - I'd imagine workers the world over have the same syndrome but I suppose most people are also content enough with it to stay in the hamster wheel. M and I are off to the Balkans in December so hopefully I can rekindle the excitement in life a little. Until then, I'll keep working, washing up, eating and watching peoples' caps blow off.
In another bid to spice up life a little, I've recently discovered the Darwin Awards website, which honours people who died in quite frankly ridiculous ways. It's worth a little look, if only to feel slightly better about yourself after reading about the Chinese woman who died after climbing into a volcano to get better pictures, the Italian who perished while trying to protect his car by placing himself between it and an express train, the Polish man who tried to prove his manliness by removing his head with a chainsaw, or the German who allowed himself to be shot dead by his own dog. It's riveting stuff and can be found at www.darwinawards.com/darwin.
Have a good autumn !
Sep 22, 2008
2-week-interval input
It's been 2 weeks. I haven't really got anything to say. I've been working 6 days a week, sleeping 1 day a week, and I'm now writing my thesis in any spare time in between these other priorities. I've not noticed any new comical quirks about the Finns, and having been buried in American foreign politics here at the library all evening I'm not very much inclined to write about that either.
However, here are my two rather uninteresting news items from the past couple of weeks.
M and I are planning to go to Bosnia for the new year, which effectively means that we'll plan it, be on the verge of buying tickets and then something will come up to scupper the plans. We'll then probably end up in a crappy bar in Helsinki drinking crappy beer while listening to crappy music and paying far too much money for the pleasure.
Cultural event of the week in Helsinki at the moment is "Love and Anarchy" a film festival which throws up some quite interesting movies and a good change from the usual Hollywood flags-and-tears and happy ending stuff that is normally shoved down our throats. I think the last time I went to the cinema was last year during this same festival, and yesterday I went to watch an Israel movie called "Lemon Tree", starring a bunch of actors with Hebrew names, none of which I can remember right now. It's quite impressive that someone has managed to make a full leangth feature movie about a plot of lemon trees, but there you go. They managed it. And if you can find it somewhere, it's worth watching.
Thank you, and see you next time.
However, here are my two rather uninteresting news items from the past couple of weeks.
M and I are planning to go to Bosnia for the new year, which effectively means that we'll plan it, be on the verge of buying tickets and then something will come up to scupper the plans. We'll then probably end up in a crappy bar in Helsinki drinking crappy beer while listening to crappy music and paying far too much money for the pleasure.
Cultural event of the week in Helsinki at the moment is "Love and Anarchy" a film festival which throws up some quite interesting movies and a good change from the usual Hollywood flags-and-tears and happy ending stuff that is normally shoved down our throats. I think the last time I went to the cinema was last year during this same festival, and yesterday I went to watch an Israel movie called "Lemon Tree", starring a bunch of actors with Hebrew names, none of which I can remember right now. It's quite impressive that someone has managed to make a full leangth feature movie about a plot of lemon trees, but there you go. They managed it. And if you can find it somewhere, it's worth watching.
Thank you, and see you next time.
Sep 8, 2008
Evil : An Analysis
If there's one word I've grown tired of hearing recently, it's the word "evil". Every story about US relations with countries which don't agree with its point of view on how the world should run will feature the word "evil" at some point. It seems to have recently replaced "terrorism" as the main word to be bandied around. I don't think it's the frequency of its use as such that gets to me, but rather the feeling I have of it being a word that's more suited to playgrounds in schools and sci-fi movies which is used cheaply to get into voters' minds to instil fear and therefore support for the "evil" designs of the Bush administration on the world in general. A sort of easy linguistic propaganda, if you will. The "Axis of Evil" speech, for instance, put the word into the public conscience and suddenly, Iran, Iraq and North Korea were metamorphosed from troublesome states into cackling bad guys from horror movies.
Bush's declaration of war on terrorism after September 11th included a passage pledging that America's "responsibility to history is already clear: to answer these attacks and rid the world of evil." A bold statement indeed. Whereas this may seem a noble quest to those who really wish to believe it, what does it actually mean ? The declaration of war against evil came after three days of floundering desperately for a target for American civil rage. No one knew who really did it, and a response was needed. In order to launch a response, an enemy was needed. This new enemy was evil. The problem with evil is that it is such a vague concept, but this problem seems to be part of the solution for the Bush administration. If he was to declare war against Osama bin Laden, he would have had to come up with an entirely new war to invade Iraq. If he wanted to declare war against Islamic fundamentalism, that would put him in a difficult situation relative to Cuba, for example. Evil is a fabulous catch-all concept which can be applied to just about anything.
Bush's stand on evil is that it is "real, and it must be opposed". His views on Osama bin Laden are few and decisive - "The only thing I know certain about him is that he's evil. And I don't know what to believe about him, except that he wants to hurt Americans." Very clear. This would suggest that the definition of evil is wanting to hurt Americans. Unless such a line is some kind of political marketing gimmick. Besides, doesn't the death penalty, which Bush heartily endorsed as governor of Texas, hurt Americans ? Moreover, "I think there is one universal law, and that's terrorism is evil, and all of us must work to reject evil. Murder is evil, and we must reject murder." A more general assessment - killing people is evil. Once again, the millions killed in Iraq and Afghanistan were only "collateral damage" and therefore the acts in themselves were not evil. But wait - there's an explanation ! "None of us would ever wish the evil that has been done to our country, yet we have learned that out of evil can come great good." Aha. There's the explanation then.
"We don't share the point of view that evil is religious. We don't appreciate the fact that somebody has tried to hijack a religion in order to justify terror activities." It's great isn't it ? This is the same man who, not long after, claimed that "'I am driven with a mission from God'. God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did." Terror is of course, much like evil, defined by the speaker. The majority of Iraqis may have been living in terror for several years but, well, it would appear that that's rather irrelevant. "The evil one who hides [Osama himself] thinks in ways that we can't possibly think in America -- so destructive, such a low regard for human life". I could go on and on.
But onto other things. The Republican running for senator in Illinois in 2004, Alan Keyes considered that terrorism and abortion were the "same evil". So we're now fighting a war against abortion as well ?
One thing that I've found vaguely amusing is that both of the Presidential candidates have been asked for their definitions of evil. Obama gave a general response including Darfur, American city streets, abusive parents, the fact that the act of confronting evil sometimes entails evil in itself, which could have been an oblique reference to the Iraq fiasco, once again. McCain gave a bold, Bushesque answer - Radical Islam, terrorists in Iraq, al-Qaeda, bin Laden (who McCain will apparently "follow to the gates of hell" in order to bring him to justice). Whereas Bush would probably agree with McCain's analysis, Obama's is probably closer to what Bush would himself want to say - a vague, indefinable concept which leaves the moral door open for attack just about anyone or anything.
But please Mr. Bush, for my sanity, can we just drop the word "evil" and actually point out what we're aiming at here ? It would make life a lot easier for the both of us. Thanks.
Bush's declaration of war on terrorism after September 11th included a passage pledging that America's "responsibility to history is already clear: to answer these attacks and rid the world of evil." A bold statement indeed. Whereas this may seem a noble quest to those who really wish to believe it, what does it actually mean ? The declaration of war against evil came after three days of floundering desperately for a target for American civil rage. No one knew who really did it, and a response was needed. In order to launch a response, an enemy was needed. This new enemy was evil. The problem with evil is that it is such a vague concept, but this problem seems to be part of the solution for the Bush administration. If he was to declare war against Osama bin Laden, he would have had to come up with an entirely new war to invade Iraq. If he wanted to declare war against Islamic fundamentalism, that would put him in a difficult situation relative to Cuba, for example. Evil is a fabulous catch-all concept which can be applied to just about anything.
Bush's stand on evil is that it is "real, and it must be opposed". His views on Osama bin Laden are few and decisive - "The only thing I know certain about him is that he's evil. And I don't know what to believe about him, except that he wants to hurt Americans." Very clear. This would suggest that the definition of evil is wanting to hurt Americans. Unless such a line is some kind of political marketing gimmick. Besides, doesn't the death penalty, which Bush heartily endorsed as governor of Texas, hurt Americans ? Moreover, "I think there is one universal law, and that's terrorism is evil, and all of us must work to reject evil. Murder is evil, and we must reject murder." A more general assessment - killing people is evil. Once again, the millions killed in Iraq and Afghanistan were only "collateral damage" and therefore the acts in themselves were not evil. But wait - there's an explanation ! "None of us would ever wish the evil that has been done to our country, yet we have learned that out of evil can come great good." Aha. There's the explanation then.
"We don't share the point of view that evil is religious. We don't appreciate the fact that somebody has tried to hijack a religion in order to justify terror activities." It's great isn't it ? This is the same man who, not long after, claimed that "'I am driven with a mission from God'. God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did." Terror is of course, much like evil, defined by the speaker. The majority of Iraqis may have been living in terror for several years but, well, it would appear that that's rather irrelevant. "The evil one who hides [Osama himself] thinks in ways that we can't possibly think in America -- so destructive, such a low regard for human life". I could go on and on.
But onto other things. The Republican running for senator in Illinois in 2004, Alan Keyes considered that terrorism and abortion were the "same evil". So we're now fighting a war against abortion as well ?
One thing that I've found vaguely amusing is that both of the Presidential candidates have been asked for their definitions of evil. Obama gave a general response including Darfur, American city streets, abusive parents, the fact that the act of confronting evil sometimes entails evil in itself, which could have been an oblique reference to the Iraq fiasco, once again. McCain gave a bold, Bushesque answer - Radical Islam, terrorists in Iraq, al-Qaeda, bin Laden (who McCain will apparently "follow to the gates of hell" in order to bring him to justice). Whereas Bush would probably agree with McCain's analysis, Obama's is probably closer to what Bush would himself want to say - a vague, indefinable concept which leaves the moral door open for attack just about anyone or anything.
But please Mr. Bush, for my sanity, can we just drop the word "evil" and actually point out what we're aiming at here ? It would make life a lot easier for the both of us. Thanks.
Life IS Hard
On Friday, something interesting happened in Helsinki ! Around Töölönlahti, one of many lakes dotted around the city (which is not much of a city at all outside the centre, more of a collection of suburbs dotted around with forests, parks and lakes, which would be very pleasant if the architecture wasn't so reminiscent of the Soviet era) a massive crowd gathered for the all-Finland firework display contest. In it, five teams competed to launch massive amounts of money into the air in a show of noise and light that was impressive to even the most cynical viewer. London's firework display to announce the arrival of 2008, for instance, cost £1,3million. That half hour of light and noise in one city (and it can be safely assumed that the major cities of most of the world's countries have at least 2 large-scale displays a year - for new year and for the national day) cost the same as a year of anti-retroviral drugs for over 6000 people. Multiply this by the amount of countries in the world and the amount of cities in those countries which would have fireworks displays and you start to get an idea of how much money is fired into the air which could be put to slightly better use - third world debt relief, AIDS and malaria treatment and so on. It's unfair to pin the blame squarely on fireworks though, and the profligacy of authorities the world over can be pointed at. But I digress.
As in most cases of something happening in this city, the majority of the city swooped on the park, vodka and beer bottles in hands. Those looking upwards could see fireworks, and those looking in any other direction could see kids getting drunk not actually looking at the fireworks. I remember being drunk in my final years of school during fireworks displays and even though I was slightly underage by a year or two like these wasters, I didn't turn my eyes away from the pyrotechnics. This is when, aged 25, I lament the youth of today and how they don't appreciate anything. Actually this may have something to do with (and prepare yourself for another psychoanalysis of the Finnish population here) the state of things I came to realise quite early here.
Alcohol abuse by kids around here is explained away by M as a reflection that it's "difficult growing up in Finland". I've never grown up here so I can't really comment from an objective point of view. It does seem like quite a bold statement though. On first view, the Finns are a tough, resilient bunch - they live in a country whose climate is fairly harsh, to say the least, have come through 40 years of forced friendship with the Soviet Union and a large economic depression in the 1990s. They are, on the whole, people who like to live at one with nature. The majority can sort themselves out very well in terms of survival skills out in the elements and all men above the age of 18 go on between 6 and 12 months of what seems to be a quite rigorous stint of military service. However, for some reason, the national sport here is complaining about absolutely everything that doesn't work perfectly. Something that the average resident of a relatively dysfunctional country like Belgium would shrug off with an "ah well, shit happens" is treated as a large (and possibly distressing) inconvenience here. It is a country where social security throws money at absolutely everyone. I get 480€ a month of absolutely free money just for being a student here - kids start getting this in high school and just about anyone is eligible for free money of some sort - including the large population of alcoholics and those who just can't be bothered to work (one man I shared a hospital room with claimed to have not done any work for 15 years because he didn't like working - he had been supported by the state every step of the way. They were also paying entirely for his operation whereas I had to shell out for mine). I have never been perplexed at peoples' distress as much as I have here where people have a tendency to have a total nervous breakdown over something very trivial. Consequently, I'd hazard a guess that if kids growing up in this situation don't have entertainment and money right on their doorsteps, they'll just go and drink and smoke with other kids. Where they get the money to buy cider and cigarettes, I would imagine, is quite obvious. Life is hard indeed - I'm sure the children of Angola and Afghanistan are thanking their lucky stars that they were born in their respective social paradises !
This situation of excessive teenage angst leads to a bifurcation of the population of Helsinki, for example - half of it will hit the bottle, live on the number 6 and 8 trams and get battered every day on cheap vodka, berating passers-by and falling asleep in bus stops by mid-morning. Others will kick the habit, get jobs, and complain about how things don't run quite as well as they should. Before I moved over here, my ex described Finland as a country where "when a bus is 2 minutes late, the president hears about it". I laughed at the notion then but I'm getting more and more convinced of the reality of it.
As in most cases of something happening in this city, the majority of the city swooped on the park, vodka and beer bottles in hands. Those looking upwards could see fireworks, and those looking in any other direction could see kids getting drunk not actually looking at the fireworks. I remember being drunk in my final years of school during fireworks displays and even though I was slightly underage by a year or two like these wasters, I didn't turn my eyes away from the pyrotechnics. This is when, aged 25, I lament the youth of today and how they don't appreciate anything. Actually this may have something to do with (and prepare yourself for another psychoanalysis of the Finnish population here) the state of things I came to realise quite early here.
Alcohol abuse by kids around here is explained away by M as a reflection that it's "difficult growing up in Finland". I've never grown up here so I can't really comment from an objective point of view. It does seem like quite a bold statement though. On first view, the Finns are a tough, resilient bunch - they live in a country whose climate is fairly harsh, to say the least, have come through 40 years of forced friendship with the Soviet Union and a large economic depression in the 1990s. They are, on the whole, people who like to live at one with nature. The majority can sort themselves out very well in terms of survival skills out in the elements and all men above the age of 18 go on between 6 and 12 months of what seems to be a quite rigorous stint of military service. However, for some reason, the national sport here is complaining about absolutely everything that doesn't work perfectly. Something that the average resident of a relatively dysfunctional country like Belgium would shrug off with an "ah well, shit happens" is treated as a large (and possibly distressing) inconvenience here. It is a country where social security throws money at absolutely everyone. I get 480€ a month of absolutely free money just for being a student here - kids start getting this in high school and just about anyone is eligible for free money of some sort - including the large population of alcoholics and those who just can't be bothered to work (one man I shared a hospital room with claimed to have not done any work for 15 years because he didn't like working - he had been supported by the state every step of the way. They were also paying entirely for his operation whereas I had to shell out for mine). I have never been perplexed at peoples' distress as much as I have here where people have a tendency to have a total nervous breakdown over something very trivial. Consequently, I'd hazard a guess that if kids growing up in this situation don't have entertainment and money right on their doorsteps, they'll just go and drink and smoke with other kids. Where they get the money to buy cider and cigarettes, I would imagine, is quite obvious. Life is hard indeed - I'm sure the children of Angola and Afghanistan are thanking their lucky stars that they were born in their respective social paradises !
This situation of excessive teenage angst leads to a bifurcation of the population of Helsinki, for example - half of it will hit the bottle, live on the number 6 and 8 trams and get battered every day on cheap vodka, berating passers-by and falling asleep in bus stops by mid-morning. Others will kick the habit, get jobs, and complain about how things don't run quite as well as they should. Before I moved over here, my ex described Finland as a country where "when a bus is 2 minutes late, the president hears about it". I laughed at the notion then but I'm getting more and more convinced of the reality of it.
Aug 27, 2008
How To Halve Your I.Q. In 1 Hour
This afternoon I wrote about George Bush Jr., meaning that my blogging today couldn't sink to a lower level of intellect, right ?
WRONG !!!!
As I was eating my rice and various other things tonight, the Finnish version of Big Brother started on TV. I don't think there is anything in popular culture (including R 'n B music and even celebrity gossip magazines) that makes my jaw drop at the sheer idiocy and pointlessness of it all. I think the difference between Big Brother and the celebrity gossip magazines (because after all, they are both forms of escape from normal life to live someone else's life vicariously for people with no imagination to do anything else) is that, while people will religiously buy their gossip magazines every month and read them from cover to cover, that's all they do. It's quite sad, granted, but there's a limit to it. I have found the following interesting facts on the readership of Hello! magazine which, I would imagine, is typically representative of this type of magazine.
Hello! readers are 71% more likely than the average female to choose a car mainly on looks.
Only 4% of Hello! readers buy tomatoes, as of February 2003.
Hello! readers are also 64% more likely to vote for an electoral candidate based on his or her hairstyle rather than policies
I've found them unreferenced on Wikipedia and as such I'm not sure if these facts are actually true or not, but it's quite funny anyway and I'd say it's quite representative even if it is satyrical. There's a song by French singer Jean-Jacques Goldman which describes the desperation of the life of a woman who lives her life through the celebrities in these magazines.
Big Brother, however, is a different affair entirely. It is the ultimate in mental escapism yet, unlike watching travel programmes or documentaries, offers absolutely no interest of any sort, as far as I can see. Psychology PhD students aside, who seriously takes anything useful from Big Brother ? And what's more, it's not one nation's stupidity - from its inception in Holland in 1999, it has spread to nearly 70 countries (that's seventy countries where people sit on their sofas, watching other people sitting on sofas) as diverse as Montenegro (where it's called Veliki Brat), the Philippines (Pinoy Big Brother), Nigeria, Somalia and the Middle East (where it's known as Al-Rais), Albania and Colombia (where, predictably, it's called Gran Hermano). Not content with watching the "most interesting" parts on TV, some (and I know someone who does this) even pay money to access the cameras 24/7 via the internet !! It's quite amazing to my mind that people should pay money to sit on the internet at 2am in order to watch people they don't know sleeping. There are many things I don't like or I can see are brainless - hard rock, teen movies, Greek party islands - which I would never enjoy myself, but can see in a way how other people enjoy it. Watching Big Brother's 24/7 camera is something I just cannot understand.
From what I saw of the Finnish episode it's similar to shows I've had the misfortune of allowing my eyes to see in other countries - people sit around discussing brainless topics before doing some idiotic task, occasionally having a nervous breakdown and occasionally having sex (probably on the orders of the networks after even the most die hard airhead fan is considering switching off). At the end of this, someone wins a large amount of money and becomes an instant celebrity for having done precisely nothing of use.
Now, "people are stupid" is a line that I do like to repeat from time to time and (even though it's a massive generalisation) I do feel that there is some kind of pattern - the human population as a whole (or rather the "developed" Western population, living in places where life is so outstandingly boring that we sink to immense depths to "entertain" ourselves) comprises largely of sheep who follow trends and fashions for no other reason than "others are doing it". This leads me to one of the small problems I've been thinking about for a while. Namely the following :
Why is it that I, as someone who reads the news every morning, can access information on Jane Goody's personal life far more easily than I can on the war in Darfur, the development of cures against AIDS or the looming environmental threats which are poised to start destroying us all ?
Two facts are obvious to anyone who reads the news on any regular website - people read more about irrelevant celebrities' lives than they do about the battle against AIDS, and there are more frequent stories about irrelevant celebrities' lives than there are about the battle against AIDS. One of these two facts has engendered the other, although I'm not sure which. In either case, it's quite sad that life has reduced people to this. As I write this another reality show has just begun and I've realised that if I write everything I feel about the overly-emotional made-for-TV-spectacle tear-jerking reality shows I would probably overload the blogger.com servers. So with this in mind, it's probably about time to stop. I'm off to read a book.
WRONG !!!!
As I was eating my rice and various other things tonight, the Finnish version of Big Brother started on TV. I don't think there is anything in popular culture (including R 'n B music and even celebrity gossip magazines) that makes my jaw drop at the sheer idiocy and pointlessness of it all. I think the difference between Big Brother and the celebrity gossip magazines (because after all, they are both forms of escape from normal life to live someone else's life vicariously for people with no imagination to do anything else) is that, while people will religiously buy their gossip magazines every month and read them from cover to cover, that's all they do. It's quite sad, granted, but there's a limit to it. I have found the following interesting facts on the readership of Hello! magazine which, I would imagine, is typically representative of this type of magazine.
Hello! readers are 71% more likely than the average female to choose a car mainly on looks.
Only 4% of Hello! readers buy tomatoes, as of February 2003.
Hello! readers are also 64% more likely to vote for an electoral candidate based on his or her hairstyle rather than policies
I've found them unreferenced on Wikipedia and as such I'm not sure if these facts are actually true or not, but it's quite funny anyway and I'd say it's quite representative even if it is satyrical. There's a song by French singer Jean-Jacques Goldman which describes the desperation of the life of a woman who lives her life through the celebrities in these magazines.
Big Brother, however, is a different affair entirely. It is the ultimate in mental escapism yet, unlike watching travel programmes or documentaries, offers absolutely no interest of any sort, as far as I can see. Psychology PhD students aside, who seriously takes anything useful from Big Brother ? And what's more, it's not one nation's stupidity - from its inception in Holland in 1999, it has spread to nearly 70 countries (that's seventy countries where people sit on their sofas, watching other people sitting on sofas) as diverse as Montenegro (where it's called Veliki Brat), the Philippines (Pinoy Big Brother), Nigeria, Somalia and the Middle East (where it's known as Al-Rais), Albania and Colombia (where, predictably, it's called Gran Hermano). Not content with watching the "most interesting" parts on TV, some (and I know someone who does this) even pay money to access the cameras 24/7 via the internet !! It's quite amazing to my mind that people should pay money to sit on the internet at 2am in order to watch people they don't know sleeping. There are many things I don't like or I can see are brainless - hard rock, teen movies, Greek party islands - which I would never enjoy myself, but can see in a way how other people enjoy it. Watching Big Brother's 24/7 camera is something I just cannot understand.
From what I saw of the Finnish episode it's similar to shows I've had the misfortune of allowing my eyes to see in other countries - people sit around discussing brainless topics before doing some idiotic task, occasionally having a nervous breakdown and occasionally having sex (probably on the orders of the networks after even the most die hard airhead fan is considering switching off). At the end of this, someone wins a large amount of money and becomes an instant celebrity for having done precisely nothing of use.
Now, "people are stupid" is a line that I do like to repeat from time to time and (even though it's a massive generalisation) I do feel that there is some kind of pattern - the human population as a whole (or rather the "developed" Western population, living in places where life is so outstandingly boring that we sink to immense depths to "entertain" ourselves) comprises largely of sheep who follow trends and fashions for no other reason than "others are doing it". This leads me to one of the small problems I've been thinking about for a while. Namely the following :
Why is it that I, as someone who reads the news every morning, can access information on Jane Goody's personal life far more easily than I can on the war in Darfur, the development of cures against AIDS or the looming environmental threats which are poised to start destroying us all ?
Two facts are obvious to anyone who reads the news on any regular website - people read more about irrelevant celebrities' lives than they do about the battle against AIDS, and there are more frequent stories about irrelevant celebrities' lives than there are about the battle against AIDS. One of these two facts has engendered the other, although I'm not sure which. In either case, it's quite sad that life has reduced people to this. As I write this another reality show has just begun and I've realised that if I write everything I feel about the overly-emotional made-for-TV-spectacle tear-jerking reality shows I would probably overload the blogger.com servers. So with this in mind, it's probably about time to stop. I'm off to read a book.
"Iraq fair game, Georgia certainly not", say politicians
As a student of Political Science, I often get comments such as "ah, politicians are all rotten anyway" or "it's just a big pile of corruption" and "I don't trust politics". People then look at me expecting me to defend myself. Often, I disappoint them by pointing out that politicians are even more rotten than they think.
A lot has been made of Russia's invasion of Georgia recently. For some it's shocking. For some it's a scary return to the days of the Cold War. For me, it's quite funny - a stage where "the West" can once again show how wonderfully hypocritical it is with some quite brilliant soundbites. Firstly, presidential hopefully John McCain showed that he has the credentials to become a great leader of the free world in following in Bush II's footsteps by claiming something ridiculous.
George Bush II, always keep to make his mark on international events, pointed out that "Russia has sought to integrate into the diplomatic, political, economic and security structures of the 21st century. Now Russia is putting its aspirations at risk by taking actions in Georgia that are inconsistent with the principles of those institutions." The fact that the majority of Ossetians are Russian citizens and were being targeted by the Georgian army seems to be rather irrelevant here - the US was protecting American civilians by attacking Iraq, which was incidentally barely able to threaten its neighbours. Just because a bunch of people with Russian passports were being charged on by the Georgian army doesn't mean Russia was actually acting legitimately defending them. Far from it, apparently - this kind of thing is just not allowed !
"In the 21st century, nations don't invade other nations !" claimed John McCain to back up this accusation. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find out whether Iraq and Afghanistan were considered nations by the US or not, but in any case this seems to be a rather bizarre claim to make. A suggestion that Russia be barred from the G8 while its army is still in Georgia was also floated. Interestingly, McCain has stated that if he becomes president, he will aim for American troops to remain in Iraq until 2013.
Condoleezza Rice, not wanting to miss out on the action, came up with this little pearl : "This is not 1968 and the invasion of Czechoslovakia, where Russia can threaten its neighbours, occupy a capital, overthrow a government and get away with it. Things have changed !". Indeed, this is 2008 - it is not 2001 or 2003 either. Admittedly, the US did not invade neighbours, occupy their capitals, overthrow their governments and get away with it in 2001 and 2003 - it did actually make the effort to get the troops out to Asia in order to do all of these things. Which, I suppose, makes it acceptable.
Eventually, someone stopped playing the game. Zalmay Khalilzad, US ambassador to various places in recent times, decided to say "hey ! we're not being hypocritical, we're just being selective in who people are allowed to invade !". "The days of overthrowing leaders by military means in Europe -- those days are gone !" he said, skillfully avoiding the Iraqi/Afghan question. Unfortunately, in a slight oversight, he forgot to mention McCain and Rice's specific comments on timing, and therefore the US-led NATO bombing of Serbia in 1999 would fall foul of this statement. If I was being really pedantic, I could say that, Georgia lying south of the main peaks of the Caucasus, it's technically in Asia itself. But I digress.
In addition to its military action in Georgia, Russia has done something even more disgusting - it has recognised the independence of South Ossetia AND Abkhazia !
The US has positioned itself as a champion of international law and in this arena the UN Charter gives the organisation's purpose as one "to develop friendly relations among nations based on respect for the principle of equal rights and self-determination of peoples". Self determination of peoples would mean that Ossetians would get their own state, as would the Abkhaz, both of which speak their own language and have their own cultures and customs. Russian intention to recognise two regions that have been in conflict but are clearly within the internationally recognised borders of Georgia... is regrettable" claims Condoleezza Rice.
Where the Americans tread, of course, the British will surely follow. Foreign Secretary David Milliband claimed that the crisis provided a "rude awakening" and that Russia's "unilateral attempt to redraw the map marks a moment of real significance". Also, "We fully support Georgia's independence and territorial integrity, which cannot be changed by decree from Moscow." Would this be the same Britain and America who dismantled Serbia and pushed Kosovo into independence on the basis of national self-determination ? What a strange world this is.
DISCLAIMER : I would also like to explain this before anyone thinks "Oh here we go, someone who wants to slate Britain and the US for everything". I don't see any particularly easy solution for this situation, nor do I think Russia's aggression can be condoned. Nor do I think that the US and Britain are the only ones involved in blowing the trumpet of Western double-edged morality either - many others have recognised Kosovo which was declared as an independent state completely against international law and are jumping onto the anti-Russian bandwagon as well. I'm just presenting a certain side of things which crop up again and again in any crisis situation relevant to the West across the globe.
A lot has been made of Russia's invasion of Georgia recently. For some it's shocking. For some it's a scary return to the days of the Cold War. For me, it's quite funny - a stage where "the West" can once again show how wonderfully hypocritical it is with some quite brilliant soundbites. Firstly, presidential hopefully John McCain showed that he has the credentials to become a great leader of the free world in following in Bush II's footsteps by claiming something ridiculous.
George Bush II, always keep to make his mark on international events, pointed out that "Russia has sought to integrate into the diplomatic, political, economic and security structures of the 21st century. Now Russia is putting its aspirations at risk by taking actions in Georgia that are inconsistent with the principles of those institutions." The fact that the majority of Ossetians are Russian citizens and were being targeted by the Georgian army seems to be rather irrelevant here - the US was protecting American civilians by attacking Iraq, which was incidentally barely able to threaten its neighbours. Just because a bunch of people with Russian passports were being charged on by the Georgian army doesn't mean Russia was actually acting legitimately defending them. Far from it, apparently - this kind of thing is just not allowed !
"In the 21st century, nations don't invade other nations !" claimed John McCain to back up this accusation. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find out whether Iraq and Afghanistan were considered nations by the US or not, but in any case this seems to be a rather bizarre claim to make. A suggestion that Russia be barred from the G8 while its army is still in Georgia was also floated. Interestingly, McCain has stated that if he becomes president, he will aim for American troops to remain in Iraq until 2013.
Condoleezza Rice, not wanting to miss out on the action, came up with this little pearl : "This is not 1968 and the invasion of Czechoslovakia, where Russia can threaten its neighbours, occupy a capital, overthrow a government and get away with it. Things have changed !". Indeed, this is 2008 - it is not 2001 or 2003 either. Admittedly, the US did not invade neighbours, occupy their capitals, overthrow their governments and get away with it in 2001 and 2003 - it did actually make the effort to get the troops out to Asia in order to do all of these things. Which, I suppose, makes it acceptable.
Eventually, someone stopped playing the game. Zalmay Khalilzad, US ambassador to various places in recent times, decided to say "hey ! we're not being hypocritical, we're just being selective in who people are allowed to invade !". "The days of overthrowing leaders by military means in Europe -- those days are gone !" he said, skillfully avoiding the Iraqi/Afghan question. Unfortunately, in a slight oversight, he forgot to mention McCain and Rice's specific comments on timing, and therefore the US-led NATO bombing of Serbia in 1999 would fall foul of this statement. If I was being really pedantic, I could say that, Georgia lying south of the main peaks of the Caucasus, it's technically in Asia itself. But I digress.
In addition to its military action in Georgia, Russia has done something even more disgusting - it has recognised the independence of South Ossetia AND Abkhazia !
The US has positioned itself as a champion of international law and in this arena the UN Charter gives the organisation's purpose as one "to develop friendly relations among nations based on respect for the principle of equal rights and self-determination of peoples". Self determination of peoples would mean that Ossetians would get their own state, as would the Abkhaz, both of which speak their own language and have their own cultures and customs. Russian intention to recognise two regions that have been in conflict but are clearly within the internationally recognised borders of Georgia... is regrettable" claims Condoleezza Rice.
Where the Americans tread, of course, the British will surely follow. Foreign Secretary David Milliband claimed that the crisis provided a "rude awakening" and that Russia's "unilateral attempt to redraw the map marks a moment of real significance". Also, "We fully support Georgia's independence and territorial integrity, which cannot be changed by decree from Moscow." Would this be the same Britain and America who dismantled Serbia and pushed Kosovo into independence on the basis of national self-determination ? What a strange world this is.
DISCLAIMER : I would also like to explain this before anyone thinks "Oh here we go, someone who wants to slate Britain and the US for everything". I don't see any particularly easy solution for this situation, nor do I think Russia's aggression can be condoned. Nor do I think that the US and Britain are the only ones involved in blowing the trumpet of Western double-edged morality either - many others have recognised Kosovo which was declared as an independent state completely against international law and are jumping onto the anti-Russian bandwagon as well. I'm just presenting a certain side of things which crop up again and again in any crisis situation relevant to the West across the globe.
Aug 8, 2008
Can we leave the Chinese alone for a bit ?
Seriously - they've organised the Olympics, they're putting a show on for the rest of the world. Politics is politics, sport is sport. If we didn't give the task of organising big games to countries without a poor human rights record, the Olympics, World Cup and European championships of just about everything would simply alternate between Finland and Sweden, the two most innocent and incorruptible nations in the world. We've all got blood on our hands, let's face it. So what's the big deal with the Chinese ? Why is everyone saying we should boycott watching the games ? Why were heads of state threatening to not go to Beijing ? I've heard it's because China is currently illegally occupying Tibet. I've heard that athletes themselves are signing petitions ordering the Chinese to move out of Tibet, give it an independent state and to behave themselves properly with regard to human rights. I've heard they also want the Chinese to withdraw their investments in Sudan because of the Darfur situation. This is, quite honestly speaking, ridiculous.
There hasn't been a boycott of the Olympics since 1984 when the Soviets and much of the Eastern Bloc boycotted the Games in the US after a similar action by the West during the Moscow games in 1980. Since then the games have been held in South Korea, Spain, the USA, Australia, and Athens. I don't recall widespread criticism of the Games being awarded to the United States for its support of right wing death squads in Latin America, nor do I recall Australia being singled out for its treatment of Aborigines and refugees from war zones. Similarly, the London Games of 2012 don't seem to be criticised for British action over the world. Are the athletes going to sign a "Free Iraq and Afghanistan" petition in 4 years ? Or how about a "Stop investing in Nigeria because of its human rights record" petition ? Assuming that Paris had been awarded the 2012 Games, would we have stood on our pedestals and started criticising France's support of countless African dictators ? How about an "Apologise for propping up Jean-Bedel Bokassa/Mobutu Sese Seko/Hissène Habré/Idriss Déby" petition ? Or maybe France should be forced to apologise for Napoleon's invasion of Russia before it is awarded any global celebration of sport again ?
Sportsmen are not politicians, let's not treat them as such. China isn't a shining light of human rights, but nor are most countries. Just because they're going to be richer than us in 50 years doesn't mean we should piss on their bonfire this month. So leave them alone !
There hasn't been a boycott of the Olympics since 1984 when the Soviets and much of the Eastern Bloc boycotted the Games in the US after a similar action by the West during the Moscow games in 1980. Since then the games have been held in South Korea, Spain, the USA, Australia, and Athens. I don't recall widespread criticism of the Games being awarded to the United States for its support of right wing death squads in Latin America, nor do I recall Australia being singled out for its treatment of Aborigines and refugees from war zones. Similarly, the London Games of 2012 don't seem to be criticised for British action over the world. Are the athletes going to sign a "Free Iraq and Afghanistan" petition in 4 years ? Or how about a "Stop investing in Nigeria because of its human rights record" petition ? Assuming that Paris had been awarded the 2012 Games, would we have stood on our pedestals and started criticising France's support of countless African dictators ? How about an "Apologise for propping up Jean-Bedel Bokassa/Mobutu Sese Seko/Hissène Habré/Idriss Déby" petition ? Or maybe France should be forced to apologise for Napoleon's invasion of Russia before it is awarded any global celebration of sport again ?
Sportsmen are not politicians, let's not treat them as such. China isn't a shining light of human rights, but nor are most countries. Just because they're going to be richer than us in 50 years doesn't mean we should piss on their bonfire this month. So leave them alone !
A Discussion of the Human Condition
Yesterday morning my letterbox made a sound and I found my Bradt guide to the Congos. which I'd ordered at the beginning of the week. I ploughed straight into it. It looks like a great part of the world to visit (which we're saving up to do next year) and, despite the differences between it and the parts of Africa that I know, it brought memories flooding back. One of the biggest differences between Africa and northern Europe is the social interaction, the possibility of just talking to anyone for hours on end about nothing at all without it seeming like space filler. It's just fun. This evening rather contrasted with this book and these memories.
I went to a bar tonight. Firstly, it was Friday. Secondly, there were birthday drinks. Thirdly, it was something to do. And last of all, I like places where other people are. It gives me a chance to be social outside of a computer geek setting, and to people watch. Generally, people watching is limited to looking at girls and to observing people doing weird things and being critical of this in a very cynical kind of way. It does have other uses too, though. Having lived in 3 countries and visited many others (and having visited bars in most of these places), it's easy to pick up on local habits, notice trends among people from different places, and then sometimes see them everywhere and get annoyed by them. Going to a Finnish bar is an intriguing experience in terms of people watching; it is, at once, and a good place to get to know the Finnish psyche and a bad place to get to know it. It's a bad place because people do tend to go out to get plastered here, which naturally unleashes the inner self which never exposes itself in times of sobriety. It's a good place, however, because in the same bar you can see a cross-section of society to a far wider degree than I've noticed anywhere else. A frequenter of a Finnish bar will conclude that practically the entire Finnish nation consists of 4 types of people:
- People who have dyed their hair black, usually have tattoos of bats or incomprehensible Chinese characters, and wear t-shirts bearing slogans like "DEATH", pictures of skulls, and so on. Such people will almost always be dressed in black and red. Optional extras include black fishnet tights over red leggings (for women) and a shaved head and large goatee beard, or long hair tied into a pony tail (for men).
- Middle aged women sitting drinking gin long-drinks accompanied by other middle aged women, looking somewhat uncomfortable. I'm tempted to say that they are possibly looking for male company to replace the husband who has ditched them but, given that I'm not qualified as a psychiatrist and have no knowledge of telepathy, it's outside my mandate to guess such things.
- Geeky looking guys, almost always wearing square glasses, with blonde hair tentatively gelled up into spikes, also looking uncomfortable. I'm tempted to say that they are possibly looking for female company, and that they are probably hoping that this company doesn't come along until they've had a couple more beers. While having no knowledge of telepathy, I'm confident of being fairly accurate with this suggestion.
- "Past it" old guys, with 3-day stubble revealing their 3-straight-days drinking habits, usually with faded tattoos, sleeveless vests (preferably leather) and glazed expressions. Nevertheless, these people (if they have been admitted to the bar in the first place) are quite animated, and will talk loudly and at length with whoever cares to listen.
If one has lots of money and the patience to go to a overhyped club which is just as crappy as the others but loved by the masses from the rich suburbs for some reason, you will discover a 5th type - the young professional who probably drives a sports car, does not own any clothes which cost less than 50€ (including socks), and will generally sit around talking about sports cars and expensive clothes (possibly not including socks).
In any case, today I noticed several things which I've decided to share with you all. Now, I know I have been quite negative about Finns on several occasions in this blog and I've explained the reasons for this. They happen to be a people that I have a lot of time for - they are honest to a fault, very friendly once you actually get to know them and, once they get pissed enough, quite chatty and open and curious about us foreigners. Sober, they're quite quiet - this bugged me at the beginning but I've understood now that silence is not awkward here and nothing to shy away from. Hard for me to understand, but that's just the way it is. However, there are a few things which I've noticed here enough to write down.
Tonight, for instance, there were 5 of us at a bar - me, and 4 of M's friends. On sitting at the table, 3 of them started speaking in Finnish to each other (which is completely understandable - even if maybe not from a linguistic point of view) and one of them got a newspaper out and started doing a crossword. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't this slightly strange ? If I went to the bar with a group of friends and one got a beer and pulled out a crossword, I'd take that as quite a blatant social "fuck you" and wonder if this person wouldn't be happier at home. As it happened, the other three didn't bat an eyelid at this and continued their conversation. I stared into space and drank my pint. To me, this fits into the same category as the girl and guy at a bar both writing text messages which I've seen here and there, and the people who walk along with someone else and pull out an MP3 player and start listening to it. The silence-as-a-conversational-tactic thing is something I've got used to even if I don't really enjoy it - outwardly giving signs of turning away from social company in a "sorry you're too boring for me" is something I just don't get. Again, it seems to be something which is taken as unproblematic here and, again, this is not an essentially Finnish disease - I've seen it in various places. It does seem to be quite rampant here though, leading to my conclusion that it's generally accepted as OK. It's also quite a complicated social fabric to work out given that people seem to go very hot-and-cold on the whole issue (e.g. if I'm out with a group and manage to corner one or two of them, they're absolutely open and chatty and lovely people to be with, and I fade to the background again when we reintegrate the herd). I plan to continue the research.
I went to a bar tonight. Firstly, it was Friday. Secondly, there were birthday drinks. Thirdly, it was something to do. And last of all, I like places where other people are. It gives me a chance to be social outside of a computer geek setting, and to people watch. Generally, people watching is limited to looking at girls and to observing people doing weird things and being critical of this in a very cynical kind of way. It does have other uses too, though. Having lived in 3 countries and visited many others (and having visited bars in most of these places), it's easy to pick up on local habits, notice trends among people from different places, and then sometimes see them everywhere and get annoyed by them. Going to a Finnish bar is an intriguing experience in terms of people watching; it is, at once, and a good place to get to know the Finnish psyche and a bad place to get to know it. It's a bad place because people do tend to go out to get plastered here, which naturally unleashes the inner self which never exposes itself in times of sobriety. It's a good place, however, because in the same bar you can see a cross-section of society to a far wider degree than I've noticed anywhere else. A frequenter of a Finnish bar will conclude that practically the entire Finnish nation consists of 4 types of people:
- People who have dyed their hair black, usually have tattoos of bats or incomprehensible Chinese characters, and wear t-shirts bearing slogans like "DEATH", pictures of skulls, and so on. Such people will almost always be dressed in black and red. Optional extras include black fishnet tights over red leggings (for women) and a shaved head and large goatee beard, or long hair tied into a pony tail (for men).
- Middle aged women sitting drinking gin long-drinks accompanied by other middle aged women, looking somewhat uncomfortable. I'm tempted to say that they are possibly looking for male company to replace the husband who has ditched them but, given that I'm not qualified as a psychiatrist and have no knowledge of telepathy, it's outside my mandate to guess such things.
- Geeky looking guys, almost always wearing square glasses, with blonde hair tentatively gelled up into spikes, also looking uncomfortable. I'm tempted to say that they are possibly looking for female company, and that they are probably hoping that this company doesn't come along until they've had a couple more beers. While having no knowledge of telepathy, I'm confident of being fairly accurate with this suggestion.
- "Past it" old guys, with 3-day stubble revealing their 3-straight-days drinking habits, usually with faded tattoos, sleeveless vests (preferably leather) and glazed expressions. Nevertheless, these people (if they have been admitted to the bar in the first place) are quite animated, and will talk loudly and at length with whoever cares to listen.
If one has lots of money and the patience to go to a overhyped club which is just as crappy as the others but loved by the masses from the rich suburbs for some reason, you will discover a 5th type - the young professional who probably drives a sports car, does not own any clothes which cost less than 50€ (including socks), and will generally sit around talking about sports cars and expensive clothes (possibly not including socks).
In any case, today I noticed several things which I've decided to share with you all. Now, I know I have been quite negative about Finns on several occasions in this blog and I've explained the reasons for this. They happen to be a people that I have a lot of time for - they are honest to a fault, very friendly once you actually get to know them and, once they get pissed enough, quite chatty and open and curious about us foreigners. Sober, they're quite quiet - this bugged me at the beginning but I've understood now that silence is not awkward here and nothing to shy away from. Hard for me to understand, but that's just the way it is. However, there are a few things which I've noticed here enough to write down.
Tonight, for instance, there were 5 of us at a bar - me, and 4 of M's friends. On sitting at the table, 3 of them started speaking in Finnish to each other (which is completely understandable - even if maybe not from a linguistic point of view) and one of them got a newspaper out and started doing a crossword. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't this slightly strange ? If I went to the bar with a group of friends and one got a beer and pulled out a crossword, I'd take that as quite a blatant social "fuck you" and wonder if this person wouldn't be happier at home. As it happened, the other three didn't bat an eyelid at this and continued their conversation. I stared into space and drank my pint. To me, this fits into the same category as the girl and guy at a bar both writing text messages which I've seen here and there, and the people who walk along with someone else and pull out an MP3 player and start listening to it. The silence-as-a-conversational-tactic thing is something I've got used to even if I don't really enjoy it - outwardly giving signs of turning away from social company in a "sorry you're too boring for me" is something I just don't get. Again, it seems to be something which is taken as unproblematic here and, again, this is not an essentially Finnish disease - I've seen it in various places. It does seem to be quite rampant here though, leading to my conclusion that it's generally accepted as OK. It's also quite a complicated social fabric to work out given that people seem to go very hot-and-cold on the whole issue (e.g. if I'm out with a group and manage to corner one or two of them, they're absolutely open and chatty and lovely people to be with, and I fade to the background again when we reintegrate the herd). I plan to continue the research.
Jul 30, 2008
Life in Helsinki Part 5 : Nutritional Information
Given that nothing of note has happened to me here (i.e. I've been at work, and Saturday night I went for some beer and played minigolf) this series can continue. I've already elaborated on some of the more difficult points of adapting to life in Finland for the foreigner, but one of these points has received considerable media exposure over the last couple of years. A quick look at Maslow's triangle of essential human needs will reveal that in order to live one needs communication, sunshine, clothing, sex (I've had another visitor to this site from Austria on that very subject), and the odd trip to the pub/Tallinn. This blog has covered all of those subjects and now the final issue, I'm sure you've all guessed, is food.
The Finnish culinary scene has come under somewhat of a microscope in recent times with both Silvio Berlusconi and Jacques Chirac having a good poke. The truth is though that the quality of food in this country, much like that of the women, varies enormously, from immensely tasty to downright dangerous. Firstly, one of the first things I ate in Finland - Mämmi. At this point even the Finns shudder, despite the fact that practically all of them eat it. It's an Easter "speciality" which everyone claims to hate, yet nearly everyone eats it anyway, just because that's what you do around Easter. It looks like crap (literally) and also tastes quite similar, even when, as the natives do, you absolutely drown it in cream. It looks something like this. Other appetising dishes include those made of blood - for instance sausages, small pancakes, and soup - as well as pea soup and a sausage which is so low on meat that, according to EU directives, it's actually a pastry. Sadly, most things don't actually taste of very much and it seems that this is because of some kind of Northern European healthy reflex which sees it absolutely impossible to get anything in the supermarkets which are not free of this or low on that. Add to this the fact that every person in the country is allergic to something (lactose, gluten, sugar, fresh air, you name it) and the task of finding something decent for the ordinary, unallergic, uncomplicated eater becomes rather more difficult. Getting a decent cheese in a shop, for instance, takes good luck and a decent map of the supermarket, and finding milk products which are not low-fat/lactose free/reduced calcium/in powdered form/etc. also takes quite a bit of dedication to the cause. I've also read that spices are not really used in Finland because of a traditional belief that they were harmful to the consumer's health. And in a country with such a high intake of alcohol that's quite amusing.
However, let's surprise you all here with a few revelations. Finland produces, in my opinion, far and away the best strawberries in the world. Strawberries !! You wouldn't expect them here and I thought it was some kind of joke the first time I saw them in a supermarket but they're bright and red, juicy and tasty and you don't buy them in a bag which says "reduced beta-carotene" or "vitamin free !". Secondly, anyone heard of a cloudberry ? They're strange little things that look like raspberries except that they're orange, and they don't taste like anything else I know. Finns make great cakes out of these and, for that matter they make great cakes out of most things. Anyone had beef jerky ? Well a Lappi speciality is reindeer jerky. Moose sausage is also pretty good and I've also eaten a moose curry, which wasn't bad. Moose steak is eaten with lingonberries, which is also tasty. The Lapps also have some kind of oven cheese which squeaks on your teeth when you eat it, and also tastes of something. Sadly that's the only cheese you can buy here which really tastes of anything at all, but it's a start So unlike what Chirac and Berlusconi seem to believe, the situation here isn't really all that bad. Going to a restaurant isn't something to be feared if you're going to eat Finnish food.
For some reason though, foreign restaurants in Helsinki are useless. The Chinese restaurants are pretty tasteless, and nothing much else exists. When a Moroccan restaurant opened last year, I went with watering taste buds thinking that I was actually going to eat something which was knowledgeably spiced, and came out thinking that it sucked. Fast food is expensive and, even after a heavy Finnish night out, tastes pretty crap. I guess part of the problem is that the largest immigrant communities in Finland are (at least this is what it seems to me, it's not backed up with statistics) Somali and Russian. Neither are exactly tasty food paradise and makes you wish that more Arabs, Indians, Chinese and Mexicans could be imported here. They would then be encouraged to start up decent restaurants instead of dodgy imitation chain restaurants.
Going to the supermarket is even more frustrating unless you live to eat ready-made things straight to the microwave or the oven. Go to a supermarket here and try to find something simple, like chicken for instance, and you'll see it's impossible !! Chicken in marinade, chicken soup, lactose-free chicken, all OK. Plain, untainted chicken breast, sorry - no can do. I won't go crying about it too much though, even if I do cry myself to sleep every night over the fact that I haven't eaten merguez for months or that to make a poulet yassa I have to deep clean the marinade off the chicken legs. I suppose the Finns go to Western Europe and complain that they can't find rotten fish, Mämmi, cloudberries, low-fat bacon, or lactose-free lactose. This is what intercultural dialogue is all about.
One more thing I'll stand up for Finland in is the following. When Chirac criticised Finnish cuisine, he did it indirectly by stating that Britain was "after Finland, the country with the worst food". This is not true. OK, Finnish food is on the whole quite tasteless, but comparing it unfavourably to British food is simply unfair.
The Finnish culinary scene has come under somewhat of a microscope in recent times with both Silvio Berlusconi and Jacques Chirac having a good poke. The truth is though that the quality of food in this country, much like that of the women, varies enormously, from immensely tasty to downright dangerous. Firstly, one of the first things I ate in Finland - Mämmi. At this point even the Finns shudder, despite the fact that practically all of them eat it. It's an Easter "speciality" which everyone claims to hate, yet nearly everyone eats it anyway, just because that's what you do around Easter. It looks like crap (literally) and also tastes quite similar, even when, as the natives do, you absolutely drown it in cream. It looks something like this. Other appetising dishes include those made of blood - for instance sausages, small pancakes, and soup - as well as pea soup and a sausage which is so low on meat that, according to EU directives, it's actually a pastry. Sadly, most things don't actually taste of very much and it seems that this is because of some kind of Northern European healthy reflex which sees it absolutely impossible to get anything in the supermarkets which are not free of this or low on that. Add to this the fact that every person in the country is allergic to something (lactose, gluten, sugar, fresh air, you name it) and the task of finding something decent for the ordinary, unallergic, uncomplicated eater becomes rather more difficult. Getting a decent cheese in a shop, for instance, takes good luck and a decent map of the supermarket, and finding milk products which are not low-fat/lactose free/reduced calcium/in powdered form/etc. also takes quite a bit of dedication to the cause. I've also read that spices are not really used in Finland because of a traditional belief that they were harmful to the consumer's health. And in a country with such a high intake of alcohol that's quite amusing.
However, let's surprise you all here with a few revelations. Finland produces, in my opinion, far and away the best strawberries in the world. Strawberries !! You wouldn't expect them here and I thought it was some kind of joke the first time I saw them in a supermarket but they're bright and red, juicy and tasty and you don't buy them in a bag which says "reduced beta-carotene" or "vitamin free !". Secondly, anyone heard of a cloudberry ? They're strange little things that look like raspberries except that they're orange, and they don't taste like anything else I know. Finns make great cakes out of these and, for that matter they make great cakes out of most things. Anyone had beef jerky ? Well a Lappi speciality is reindeer jerky. Moose sausage is also pretty good and I've also eaten a moose curry, which wasn't bad. Moose steak is eaten with lingonberries, which is also tasty. The Lapps also have some kind of oven cheese which squeaks on your teeth when you eat it, and also tastes of something. Sadly that's the only cheese you can buy here which really tastes of anything at all, but it's a start So unlike what Chirac and Berlusconi seem to believe, the situation here isn't really all that bad. Going to a restaurant isn't something to be feared if you're going to eat Finnish food.
For some reason though, foreign restaurants in Helsinki are useless. The Chinese restaurants are pretty tasteless, and nothing much else exists. When a Moroccan restaurant opened last year, I went with watering taste buds thinking that I was actually going to eat something which was knowledgeably spiced, and came out thinking that it sucked. Fast food is expensive and, even after a heavy Finnish night out, tastes pretty crap. I guess part of the problem is that the largest immigrant communities in Finland are (at least this is what it seems to me, it's not backed up with statistics) Somali and Russian. Neither are exactly tasty food paradise and makes you wish that more Arabs, Indians, Chinese and Mexicans could be imported here. They would then be encouraged to start up decent restaurants instead of dodgy imitation chain restaurants.
Going to the supermarket is even more frustrating unless you live to eat ready-made things straight to the microwave or the oven. Go to a supermarket here and try to find something simple, like chicken for instance, and you'll see it's impossible !! Chicken in marinade, chicken soup, lactose-free chicken, all OK. Plain, untainted chicken breast, sorry - no can do. I won't go crying about it too much though, even if I do cry myself to sleep every night over the fact that I haven't eaten merguez for months or that to make a poulet yassa I have to deep clean the marinade off the chicken legs. I suppose the Finns go to Western Europe and complain that they can't find rotten fish, Mämmi, cloudberries, low-fat bacon, or lactose-free lactose. This is what intercultural dialogue is all about.
One more thing I'll stand up for Finland in is the following. When Chirac criticised Finnish cuisine, he did it indirectly by stating that Britain was "after Finland, the country with the worst food". This is not true. OK, Finnish food is on the whole quite tasteless, but comparing it unfavourably to British food is simply unfair.
Jul 12, 2008
A couple of small thoughts
A couple of small thoughts in no particular order.
Firstly, since writing the article "Sex sells" I've had 4 visitors who have come to this site specifically having gone to Google and searched for sex-related themes - one from Israel, one from Iran, one from the United Arab Emirates and one from France. I think that's a reasonable amount, given that this blog doesn't contain any porno or erotic literature or whatever. Maybe I should continue the research and write a steamy story and see how many people click onto me then... As a further sign of this, M has told me she doesn't read Teppo M's blog any more, the reason being that he isn't writing it any more. The reason for this ? His story has been bought out by a publishing house and a company planning to make a movie about his story. Yup...
Secondly, I have been quite negative about Finland and Finns so far in this blog. This shouldn't be taken in the wrong way - I know many very nice and friendly (and even talkative !!) Finns here and I think the country is one of the most beautiful in Europe, even if it could probably do with having a mountain or 2 to break the monotony. I like to entertain though and the truth is, like it or not, that taking the piss generally offers more opportunities to have some cheap fun than saying how lovely this or that is. So, yes, I am presenting this country and its inhabitants in an unbalanced way. It's not to make everyone hate you, my fellow residents of this frozen wasteland, it's just to try and make people smile.
Firstly, since writing the article "Sex sells" I've had 4 visitors who have come to this site specifically having gone to Google and searched for sex-related themes - one from Israel, one from Iran, one from the United Arab Emirates and one from France. I think that's a reasonable amount, given that this blog doesn't contain any porno or erotic literature or whatever. Maybe I should continue the research and write a steamy story and see how many people click onto me then... As a further sign of this, M has told me she doesn't read Teppo M's blog any more, the reason being that he isn't writing it any more. The reason for this ? His story has been bought out by a publishing house and a company planning to make a movie about his story. Yup...
Secondly, I have been quite negative about Finland and Finns so far in this blog. This shouldn't be taken in the wrong way - I know many very nice and friendly (and even talkative !!) Finns here and I think the country is one of the most beautiful in Europe, even if it could probably do with having a mountain or 2 to break the monotony. I like to entertain though and the truth is, like it or not, that taking the piss generally offers more opportunities to have some cheap fun than saying how lovely this or that is. So, yes, I am presenting this country and its inhabitants in an unbalanced way. It's not to make everyone hate you, my fellow residents of this frozen wasteland, it's just to try and make people smile.
Hey Rastaman !
First up, an explanation for the lack of text recently. I moved house, had the flu, got a new job, and then spent a week working it. I'm now a tester and translator for mobile phone video games, spending my day translating simple phrases from English to French and then playing games for hours on end, surrounded by computer geeks. And they actually pay me for this ! It's great.
Now, onto the main idea. Looking at the title of this entry - it's not only black guys with dreadlocks who have this said to them. It's also white guys who go around with either necklaces or bracelets with red, green and yellow on them. You'll usually be drowned in comments with mock Jamaican accents like "Rastafari !" or "De colours of Jomaaaica maan !". If you say this to me, then you'll expect quite a bit of a lecture back in return. Red, green and yellow are not the colours of Jamaica - look at the flag. It has black on it, and also has no red on it. Look at the flag of Ethiopia instead, or the flag of numerous other African countries. These other countries adopted the colours of Ethiopia as a sign of pride in and respect for Ethiopia, which was the only country in Africa to successfully resist colonisation. The Rastafarian religion is Jamaican, as is reggae music. The colours associated with them, however, were adopted from Ethiopia and their God is Haile Selassie I, former Emperor of Ethiopia, seen as the chosen leader of the black community given that, in the 1930s when the Rastafarian movement began, Haile Selassie was the only recognised black head of state in the international community. Rastafarianism teaches that the black population of the western hemisphere was stolen from Africa and must live as close as possible to African ways while awaiting their return to the continent of their roots.
Anyone who's listened to reggae will know they go on about lions a lot - this, again, comes from the fact that the Emperors of Ethiopia claimed descent from the Queen of Sheba and the Israelite tribe of Judah which had a lion as its symbol. Given that these guys then went on to rule Ethiopia, they referred to themselves as the Conquering Lions of Judah. Haile Selassie had loads of lions in his garden as pets.
Another line I heard a lot is "reggae singers go on about Zion ! They want to go to Israel !" which is not true either. Zion as a concept is a utopia or a promised land. It was a word which indeed came from Jewish lore, as a hill in the area of Jerusalem has been called Mount Zion for several millenia. Obviously, as a consequence, history has placed Zion in the Jewish context given their status as a population in exile for those few millenia and the Jewish yearning for the promised land has been dubbed Zionism. Rastas, though, refer to Africa in general and a historically independent Ethiopia in particular as their zion, or promised land.
It doesn't stop there, however. After I went to an interview a few weeks ago wearing them, M warned me against doing it for any high level job. Not because it would come across as not being serious, but because I would be assumed to be a pothead. "What ??!" I enquired. She told me that this is what these colours are associated with here. So in Finland it's not even associated with a country with which it shouldn't be, but just places me into a serial waster category, which is even more interesting if depressing. I'm sure this happens in a lot of other places too, although Finland does have quite a strange fixation with weed. Having grown up in a country where you can see people sitting around in the capital's main square smoking up freely in the summer, it comes as a bit of a shock here when you roll a cigarette and people look at you curiously and say "joint ????". And it happens a lot too. Sure, everyone jumps to conclusions, but to assume I'm too much of a joint smoker to do a job properly just because I happened to buy some beads in Senegal (whose flag is red, yellow and green) does seem to me to be pushing the boat out a bit too far.
So, to recap, given the strong identification of Rastafarians with Ethiopia, the colours that crop up in Rasta culture are the same as the ones which crop up in Ethiopia. So when you see me with these necklaces, drop the Jamaican accent. I've never been to Kingston and I got these necklaces and bracelets in Africa. Also, less than 1 in 10 Jamaicans is Rastafarian. So even if these colours are loosely linked to the religion and the music, they have nothing to do with the country. Thank you.
Now, onto the main idea. Looking at the title of this entry - it's not only black guys with dreadlocks who have this said to them. It's also white guys who go around with either necklaces or bracelets with red, green and yellow on them. You'll usually be drowned in comments with mock Jamaican accents like "Rastafari !" or "De colours of Jomaaaica maan !". If you say this to me, then you'll expect quite a bit of a lecture back in return. Red, green and yellow are not the colours of Jamaica - look at the flag. It has black on it, and also has no red on it. Look at the flag of Ethiopia instead, or the flag of numerous other African countries. These other countries adopted the colours of Ethiopia as a sign of pride in and respect for Ethiopia, which was the only country in Africa to successfully resist colonisation. The Rastafarian religion is Jamaican, as is reggae music. The colours associated with them, however, were adopted from Ethiopia and their God is Haile Selassie I, former Emperor of Ethiopia, seen as the chosen leader of the black community given that, in the 1930s when the Rastafarian movement began, Haile Selassie was the only recognised black head of state in the international community. Rastafarianism teaches that the black population of the western hemisphere was stolen from Africa and must live as close as possible to African ways while awaiting their return to the continent of their roots.
Anyone who's listened to reggae will know they go on about lions a lot - this, again, comes from the fact that the Emperors of Ethiopia claimed descent from the Queen of Sheba and the Israelite tribe of Judah which had a lion as its symbol. Given that these guys then went on to rule Ethiopia, they referred to themselves as the Conquering Lions of Judah. Haile Selassie had loads of lions in his garden as pets.
Another line I heard a lot is "reggae singers go on about Zion ! They want to go to Israel !" which is not true either. Zion as a concept is a utopia or a promised land. It was a word which indeed came from Jewish lore, as a hill in the area of Jerusalem has been called Mount Zion for several millenia. Obviously, as a consequence, history has placed Zion in the Jewish context given their status as a population in exile for those few millenia and the Jewish yearning for the promised land has been dubbed Zionism. Rastas, though, refer to Africa in general and a historically independent Ethiopia in particular as their zion, or promised land.
It doesn't stop there, however. After I went to an interview a few weeks ago wearing them, M warned me against doing it for any high level job. Not because it would come across as not being serious, but because I would be assumed to be a pothead. "What ??!" I enquired. She told me that this is what these colours are associated with here. So in Finland it's not even associated with a country with which it shouldn't be, but just places me into a serial waster category, which is even more interesting if depressing. I'm sure this happens in a lot of other places too, although Finland does have quite a strange fixation with weed. Having grown up in a country where you can see people sitting around in the capital's main square smoking up freely in the summer, it comes as a bit of a shock here when you roll a cigarette and people look at you curiously and say "joint ????". And it happens a lot too. Sure, everyone jumps to conclusions, but to assume I'm too much of a joint smoker to do a job properly just because I happened to buy some beads in Senegal (whose flag is red, yellow and green) does seem to me to be pushing the boat out a bit too far.
So, to recap, given the strong identification of Rastafarians with Ethiopia, the colours that crop up in Rasta culture are the same as the ones which crop up in Ethiopia. So when you see me with these necklaces, drop the Jamaican accent. I've never been to Kingston and I got these necklaces and bracelets in Africa. Also, less than 1 in 10 Jamaicans is Rastafarian. So even if these colours are loosely linked to the religion and the music, they have nothing to do with the country. Thank you.
Jun 19, 2008
Life in Helsinki Part 4 : The Travel Industry
The issue of travel has come from a potential event which didn't actually happen. The idea of going on a cruise was floated (sic.) last night, but it never really got off the ground. To 99,9% of the world's population, the word "cruise" conjures up images of cocktails, evening socials, outside swimming pools on deck, luxury cabins and sunrises in the Bahamas. To women with an active imagination, it also conjures up images of a short, dashing Scientologist who appears in action movies. The remaining 0,01% of the world's population, however, are Finns. The word takes on a slightly different meaning here. There are 2 choices from Helsinki - you get on a very large boat and go over to Sweden on an 18-hour-each-way sailing, with a potential stop to do nothing much in the Åland Islands on the way; or you go to Tallinn in Estonia which takes around 3 hours each way. There are no palm trees, no outdoor swimming pool and ladies in ballroom dresses don't sip expensive cocktails while chatting with gentlemen in tuxedos. The idea yesterday was to hop on a boat at 9pm tonight, return to Helsinki tomorrow afternoon, and in the mean time go over to Tallinn.
The first surprise to the outsider is that "going over to Tallinn" on this cruise, for a lot of people, does not actually involve going to Tallinn at all. The boat sails over, docks in the harbour, and people stay on the boat and get drunk. This is encouraged by the ferry companies and on this particular trip, even though the boat arrives in Tallinn at midnight, no one would be allowed off the boat until 8.30 the next morning. The advantage for others is that, given that people go on these boats with the sole aim of getting trashed, astronomical amounts of money are spent on booze. This drives ticket prices down and you can get over to Stockholm and back for as little as 25€, and to Tallinn for 10€ return.
The majority of people who disembark at the other end will go to the closest shop, stack up with Estonian price vodka and cigarettes, get back onto the boat and start drinking again, stopping only when the ferry arrives back in Helsinki. When the time comes to step back onto Finnish soil, you see a gang of Finns lined up like cattle in front of the door with trolleys specially designed to hold the maximum allowance of cigarettes and vodka. After they have smoked and drunk everything, they book another cruise to Tallinn. It's quite amusing and quite depressing at the same time.
Despite the enormous size of the boats (most of the friends I've had over to visit have been so amazed by the scale of the beasts that they've taken pictures of them) there really isn't all that much to do on them. The boats to Sweden, for instance, are on about 12 floors - mostly car parking spaces, cabins to sleep off hangovers, restaurants, bars and a nightclub to get pissed in and a duty free shop to buy booze and cigarettes in, and lines and lines of one-arm bandits and poker machines, seemingly to encourage kids to lose their money. Add to this the fact that the aforementioned bars and nightclubs are crap, and you suddenly find that joining the cattle in the duty free shop and getting sauced up and facing the prospect of wandering around Stockholm hungover isn't such an unattractive idea after all. In fact, it's almost compulsory to do so in order to divert your mind from jumping off the deck and swimming to shore just to give yourself something to do.
During the course of the trip, you'll probably see most, if not all of the following :
- A bunch of students dressed up as superheroes or wearing stupid wigs on a stag night
- A middle aged man/woman in a severe state of emotional decay, with the possible presence of tears and a consoling friend
- Someone wandering aimlessly along the cabin corridors, drunkenly staggering from one wall to the other
- Groups of people standing, not talking to each other (see most other posts for further details)
- A balding man in a suit desperately looking for younger female company
- Someone asleep on the floor
The slightly richer Finn takes these trips on Silja line, which is more expensive. I've never been with this company so I'm unable to comment on it but I'd imagine it's a higher class example of exactly the same thing. The much richer Finn will generally go on a package tour to Thailand, lie on the beach and come back with a tan and, in the case of single men, a wife. A Finn who goes anywhere else has undoubtedly declared him/herself to foreigners as "not the typical Finn" and, in my opinion, this isn't so far from the truth.
So to you all I would suggest the following - indulge yourself in the Finnish travel industry, hit the boats, go on a "cruise" - It'll probably be one of those things you'll be happy you did but won't be jumping to do again...
The first surprise to the outsider is that "going over to Tallinn" on this cruise, for a lot of people, does not actually involve going to Tallinn at all. The boat sails over, docks in the harbour, and people stay on the boat and get drunk. This is encouraged by the ferry companies and on this particular trip, even though the boat arrives in Tallinn at midnight, no one would be allowed off the boat until 8.30 the next morning. The advantage for others is that, given that people go on these boats with the sole aim of getting trashed, astronomical amounts of money are spent on booze. This drives ticket prices down and you can get over to Stockholm and back for as little as 25€, and to Tallinn for 10€ return.
The majority of people who disembark at the other end will go to the closest shop, stack up with Estonian price vodka and cigarettes, get back onto the boat and start drinking again, stopping only when the ferry arrives back in Helsinki. When the time comes to step back onto Finnish soil, you see a gang of Finns lined up like cattle in front of the door with trolleys specially designed to hold the maximum allowance of cigarettes and vodka. After they have smoked and drunk everything, they book another cruise to Tallinn. It's quite amusing and quite depressing at the same time.
Despite the enormous size of the boats (most of the friends I've had over to visit have been so amazed by the scale of the beasts that they've taken pictures of them) there really isn't all that much to do on them. The boats to Sweden, for instance, are on about 12 floors - mostly car parking spaces, cabins to sleep off hangovers, restaurants, bars and a nightclub to get pissed in and a duty free shop to buy booze and cigarettes in, and lines and lines of one-arm bandits and poker machines, seemingly to encourage kids to lose their money. Add to this the fact that the aforementioned bars and nightclubs are crap, and you suddenly find that joining the cattle in the duty free shop and getting sauced up and facing the prospect of wandering around Stockholm hungover isn't such an unattractive idea after all. In fact, it's almost compulsory to do so in order to divert your mind from jumping off the deck and swimming to shore just to give yourself something to do.
During the course of the trip, you'll probably see most, if not all of the following :
- A bunch of students dressed up as superheroes or wearing stupid wigs on a stag night
- A middle aged man/woman in a severe state of emotional decay, with the possible presence of tears and a consoling friend
- Someone wandering aimlessly along the cabin corridors, drunkenly staggering from one wall to the other
- Groups of people standing, not talking to each other (see most other posts for further details)
- A balding man in a suit desperately looking for younger female company
- Someone asleep on the floor
The slightly richer Finn takes these trips on Silja line, which is more expensive. I've never been with this company so I'm unable to comment on it but I'd imagine it's a higher class example of exactly the same thing. The much richer Finn will generally go on a package tour to Thailand, lie on the beach and come back with a tan and, in the case of single men, a wife. A Finn who goes anywhere else has undoubtedly declared him/herself to foreigners as "not the typical Finn" and, in my opinion, this isn't so far from the truth.
So to you all I would suggest the following - indulge yourself in the Finnish travel industry, hit the boats, go on a "cruise" - It'll probably be one of those things you'll be happy you did but won't be jumping to do again...
Jun 12, 2008
Sex Sells
It's gone 3am. I tried to sleep for 3 hours and gave up. Insomnia is something that isn't new to me so, even though it still bugs me, I look for the positives. Amongst them is that the hours spent lying around in bed can be used to think various thoughts. With Euro 2008 in full swing it's obvious that football will take up a lot of my cerebral wanderings but, as wonderful as it is, it can only take up a certain amount of time. The weather's gone bad here and so mosquitos and bikinis (c.f. previous entry) are nowhere to be seen, and so my mind has to go further for inspiration.
It came to my attention a few days ago that a guy in Finland, known as Teppo M, has written a blog called Sataa Naista (One Hundred Women). My Finnish isn't good enough to really get much of it but from what I know, it started with his breaking up with his wife and subsequent frustration that he wasn't getting any action. A drunken bet with a friend of his led to him waking up the next morning with a 10.000€ wager that he could sleep with 100 women in 1 year, and his blog chronicles his efforts. A look at the site leads one to two conclusions : Firstly, the blog is in Finnish, and therefore can only be reasonably read by Finns living here (of which there are just over 5 million), foreigners abroad who can speak Finnish (who I'd imagine are quite negligible in number) and Finns in the diaspora (who I'd imagine are also quite negligible in number). Secondly, the guy has received over 500.000 visits to a site he used at the beginning and was active on for only 3 months. All in all, from this lesser used site, he's had 2000 hits a day since he began. This compares with 1,95 a day for me. Call me a cynic, but would so many people be reading if he'd aimed to drink 100 different beers in a year, back 100 winning horses in a year, complete 100 Rubik's cubes in a year or, to go for something as difficult as he has, to learn to speak 100 languages fluently in a year ?
There's nothing really groundbreaking here - Internet + Sex = Readership isn't exactly a formula which would have Fermat or Einstein spinning in their respective graves but, at times where I can't sleep, it's a symptom of society's state which I'm interested in. I'd imagine that people read this kind of site for the same reason that they watch Big Brother or read about celebrities' secret confessions in glossy no-brainer magazines - to satisfy the voyeur inside themselves while safely at home which they'd generally deny the very existence of to the outside world. Here's something that might surprise all the same - and above all, it should surprise guys who have been trying to weave their magic in nightclubs - a survey has revealed that 25% of European women get drunk in order to increase their chances of getting sex !!! Having spent my fair share of nights out and about, I find that statistic extremely hard to believe. In my case it's certainly worked - the majority of my "conquests" I wouldn't have touched with a barge pole if I hadn't been drunk - but had I known what was coming those nights I'd probably have been on the lemonade instead.
As a closing statement to this subject, I'd like the wish Teppo M the best of luck. Having been single for more than a year while I've been here, women (read: people in general) in Helsinki's nightspots are generally antisocial or completely battered. Neither of my two successful sleazes here have been Finnish and even Ross, the man who gets all, failed here. It ain't easy.
And in order to keep you all interested and reading - I'm on 12 so far. That's an average of 1,5 a year since I started.
I'm off back to bed.
It came to my attention a few days ago that a guy in Finland, known as Teppo M, has written a blog called Sataa Naista (One Hundred Women). My Finnish isn't good enough to really get much of it but from what I know, it started with his breaking up with his wife and subsequent frustration that he wasn't getting any action. A drunken bet with a friend of his led to him waking up the next morning with a 10.000€ wager that he could sleep with 100 women in 1 year, and his blog chronicles his efforts. A look at the site leads one to two conclusions : Firstly, the blog is in Finnish, and therefore can only be reasonably read by Finns living here (of which there are just over 5 million), foreigners abroad who can speak Finnish (who I'd imagine are quite negligible in number) and Finns in the diaspora (who I'd imagine are also quite negligible in number). Secondly, the guy has received over 500.000 visits to a site he used at the beginning and was active on for only 3 months. All in all, from this lesser used site, he's had 2000 hits a day since he began. This compares with 1,95 a day for me. Call me a cynic, but would so many people be reading if he'd aimed to drink 100 different beers in a year, back 100 winning horses in a year, complete 100 Rubik's cubes in a year or, to go for something as difficult as he has, to learn to speak 100 languages fluently in a year ?
There's nothing really groundbreaking here - Internet + Sex = Readership isn't exactly a formula which would have Fermat or Einstein spinning in their respective graves but, at times where I can't sleep, it's a symptom of society's state which I'm interested in. I'd imagine that people read this kind of site for the same reason that they watch Big Brother or read about celebrities' secret confessions in glossy no-brainer magazines - to satisfy the voyeur inside themselves while safely at home which they'd generally deny the very existence of to the outside world. Here's something that might surprise all the same - and above all, it should surprise guys who have been trying to weave their magic in nightclubs - a survey has revealed that 25% of European women get drunk in order to increase their chances of getting sex !!! Having spent my fair share of nights out and about, I find that statistic extremely hard to believe. In my case it's certainly worked - the majority of my "conquests" I wouldn't have touched with a barge pole if I hadn't been drunk - but had I known what was coming those nights I'd probably have been on the lemonade instead.
As a closing statement to this subject, I'd like the wish Teppo M the best of luck. Having been single for more than a year while I've been here, women (read: people in general) in Helsinki's nightspots are generally antisocial or completely battered. Neither of my two successful sleazes here have been Finnish and even Ross, the man who gets all, failed here. It ain't easy.
And in order to keep you all interested and reading - I'm on 12 so far. That's an average of 1,5 a year since I started.
I'm off back to bed.
Jun 6, 2008
Fashion Review - 2008
Remember that 6-lane road I used to look at out the window ? These days it's been replaced by a small suburban car-park. It's hardly more inspiring but it's been absolutely drenched in sunshine over the last couple of days. According to the weather on TV yesterday I could stand up and say "I live in the hottest large European city aside from Athens, Istanbul and Malaga !". I wouldn't have believed a word of what I said but there we go. So, summer has arrived in Helsinki, finally. This unexpected situation led me to dig through my considerably small wardrobe to see what summer clothes I had. T-shirts are never a problem in this country as you have to wear 4 or 5 of them, ten months of the year. Besides those though, I discovered, I had one pair of shorts and no summer-friendly shoes. Having put on these shorts and promptly burnt a big hole in them with a cigarette, I came to a conclusion. It was time for me to go out and do something that has split the sexes more than anything in recent history - probably aside from the release of the Sex and the City movie - clothes shopping.
Anyone who knows, has known, has seen, or has vaguely heard of me will very well know that I'm not on the peak of the fashion iceberg, nor am I anywhere above the surface of the water. I am sitting on the ocean floor, chilling with the octopuses and platypuses, attempting to act as if fashion didn't exist or, if it did, was pointless. Now that I was forced to go and buy a pair of shorts though, I had to stare this issue in the face. Having perused shops all the length of Aleksanterinkatu and explored, in increasing states of desperation, the entirety of the Forum and Kamppi shopping centres, I sat, exhausted, on a pavement and rolled myself a cigarette with shaking hands, drenched in nervous sweat, dreaming of a utopian society where we could all walk around naked like our ancestors did without having to care what a bunch of fashion designers think we should all wear this year. My choices were, by and large, to pay large amounts of money for Hawaiian flower shorts, or to pay large amounts of money for a pair of 45-year-old-man-on-safari-in-Tanzania shorts. As I prepared to enter what I had decided what would be the last shop of the day, I noticed the greeting by the escalator:
FLOOR 6: Administration
FLOOR 5: Menswear (and outdoor Womenswear)
FLOOR 4: Womenswear
FLOOR 3: Womenswear
FLOOR 2: Womenswear
FLOOR 1: Womenswear
My mind went back over the nightmarish 2 hours I had just endured, and came to 2 conclusions. Firstly, a window on the 5th floor would be good to jump out of in case I didn't find anything apart from flowery shorts or safari shorts here. Secondly, I noticed a slightly familiar theme here. And it's not that I want to suggest that things are imbalanced at all, but... doesn't this seem slightly imbalanced ? All through the day, as I now realised, I'd been shoehorned into 3 square metres with one other bored looking guy staring at 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of safari shorts and 2 t-shirts with ridiculous, meaningless slogans on such as "I slept on the Virgin Island - St. Thomas V.I." and "Archipelago of Tuamotu - Live the Dream" while the women wandered around an area the size of a small country wondering which of 847 designs of blue bra with red straps they should buy.
At some point, in Benetton, I found the bedside table housing mens clothes and on it were a screwed up pile of T-shirts, apparently backing Youssou N'Dour's project to grant microcredit loans to small enterprises in Africa. One caught my eye - it was green, decorated like the back of a Senegalese minibus. I liked it. I bought it. That I had made an impulse clothes purchase in the first place showed how desperate I was for success. A little something in my bag that said "you COULD have had a nap, yes, but you've got something now." It was a consolation, however small. So for you Africa lovers, you people with more money than ideas or you idealistic people who want to give a helping hand out there, go to Benetton and buy an "Africa Works" t-shirt. They're funky and they give guys on desperate shopping trips something to be slightly happy about. And as a good supporter of this project I'm going to reach out to everyone here so, to all you White Supremacists out there - go to Benetton and buy these t-shirts. If they have more money it'll stop them coming over here right ? You know it makes sense.
In the end, I dragged my panting, suicidal self up to the 5th floor and, after trudging past the usual assortment of crap, found myself in desperate man heaven - a pair of shorts which I could actually wear and cost less than 80€ !!! I grabbed them, kissed them, bought them, and walked out of that shop to have the coldest, most welcome beer I have ever had.
There's something very liberating about the summer though, even if it only lasts about half a week in this country. Walking around in hard-earned shorts and sandals and not feeling the onset of frostbite just feels good. Sitting outside and having a beer in the sun doesn't feel good because of the beer, or because you're warm - it just does because you CAN do it. Maybe it's the rarity of the situation in Finland which makes you treasure it all the more. Lying around in the park surrounded by girls in bikinis doesn't feel good BECAUSE they're in bikinis right ? It's because they are liberated isn't it ? Don't get me wrong, I'm a great admirer of the unclothed female form as well... Or maybe I'll just give up there. I'm a perve and I know it. And I'm proud.
Summer brings big football tournaments as well, although it also brings mosquitos. Summer is when you like to spend money arsing around, although you hate being locked up at work instead of out in the sun. It's a season of contrasts, although I'll happily take bikinis, football and sunshine at the expense of mosquito bites and being locked up at work sometimes.
Finland being Finland, of course, I must interrupt my daydreaming on these wonderful topics and go to put my shorts back in the wardrobe (or indeed the cellar.) The weather report indicates that in a few days it's going to get cold again. Alea iacta est.
Anyone who knows, has known, has seen, or has vaguely heard of me will very well know that I'm not on the peak of the fashion iceberg, nor am I anywhere above the surface of the water. I am sitting on the ocean floor, chilling with the octopuses and platypuses, attempting to act as if fashion didn't exist or, if it did, was pointless. Now that I was forced to go and buy a pair of shorts though, I had to stare this issue in the face. Having perused shops all the length of Aleksanterinkatu and explored, in increasing states of desperation, the entirety of the Forum and Kamppi shopping centres, I sat, exhausted, on a pavement and rolled myself a cigarette with shaking hands, drenched in nervous sweat, dreaming of a utopian society where we could all walk around naked like our ancestors did without having to care what a bunch of fashion designers think we should all wear this year. My choices were, by and large, to pay large amounts of money for Hawaiian flower shorts, or to pay large amounts of money for a pair of 45-year-old-man-on-safari-in-Tanzania shorts. As I prepared to enter what I had decided what would be the last shop of the day, I noticed the greeting by the escalator:
FLOOR 6: Administration
FLOOR 5: Menswear (and outdoor Womenswear)
FLOOR 4: Womenswear
FLOOR 3: Womenswear
FLOOR 2: Womenswear
FLOOR 1: Womenswear
My mind went back over the nightmarish 2 hours I had just endured, and came to 2 conclusions. Firstly, a window on the 5th floor would be good to jump out of in case I didn't find anything apart from flowery shorts or safari shorts here. Secondly, I noticed a slightly familiar theme here. And it's not that I want to suggest that things are imbalanced at all, but... doesn't this seem slightly imbalanced ? All through the day, as I now realised, I'd been shoehorned into 3 square metres with one other bored looking guy staring at 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of safari shorts and 2 t-shirts with ridiculous, meaningless slogans on such as "I slept on the Virgin Island - St. Thomas V.I." and "Archipelago of Tuamotu - Live the Dream" while the women wandered around an area the size of a small country wondering which of 847 designs of blue bra with red straps they should buy.
At some point, in Benetton, I found the bedside table housing mens clothes and on it were a screwed up pile of T-shirts, apparently backing Youssou N'Dour's project to grant microcredit loans to small enterprises in Africa. One caught my eye - it was green, decorated like the back of a Senegalese minibus. I liked it. I bought it. That I had made an impulse clothes purchase in the first place showed how desperate I was for success. A little something in my bag that said "you COULD have had a nap, yes, but you've got something now." It was a consolation, however small. So for you Africa lovers, you people with more money than ideas or you idealistic people who want to give a helping hand out there, go to Benetton and buy an "Africa Works" t-shirt. They're funky and they give guys on desperate shopping trips something to be slightly happy about. And as a good supporter of this project I'm going to reach out to everyone here so, to all you White Supremacists out there - go to Benetton and buy these t-shirts. If they have more money it'll stop them coming over here right ? You know it makes sense.
In the end, I dragged my panting, suicidal self up to the 5th floor and, after trudging past the usual assortment of crap, found myself in desperate man heaven - a pair of shorts which I could actually wear and cost less than 80€ !!! I grabbed them, kissed them, bought them, and walked out of that shop to have the coldest, most welcome beer I have ever had.
There's something very liberating about the summer though, even if it only lasts about half a week in this country. Walking around in hard-earned shorts and sandals and not feeling the onset of frostbite just feels good. Sitting outside and having a beer in the sun doesn't feel good because of the beer, or because you're warm - it just does because you CAN do it. Maybe it's the rarity of the situation in Finland which makes you treasure it all the more. Lying around in the park surrounded by girls in bikinis doesn't feel good BECAUSE they're in bikinis right ? It's because they are liberated isn't it ? Don't get me wrong, I'm a great admirer of the unclothed female form as well... Or maybe I'll just give up there. I'm a perve and I know it. And I'm proud.
Summer brings big football tournaments as well, although it also brings mosquitos. Summer is when you like to spend money arsing around, although you hate being locked up at work instead of out in the sun. It's a season of contrasts, although I'll happily take bikinis, football and sunshine at the expense of mosquito bites and being locked up at work sometimes.
Finland being Finland, of course, I must interrupt my daydreaming on these wonderful topics and go to put my shorts back in the wardrobe (or indeed the cellar.) The weather report indicates that in a few days it's going to get cold again. Alea iacta est.
May 30, 2008
"I Endorse Bloody Massacre" Says Celebrity Chef
Living as we do in a world populated by a lot of quite frankly stupid people, you get used to reading stupid things. However, the following link is of a stupidity which is quite impressive, even by conservative American standards, which are obviously quite impressive in the first place.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7427206.stm
Ridiculous eh ? But wait, there's more ! The Boston Globe report quotes her as saying that "The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad, popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons."
M has one. Should I get concerned ?
I'm waiting for the next wave of news to come out of the states in its anti-Impending-Apocalypse paranoia.
"Man arrested for growing beard"
A homeless man was arrested for growing a beard yesterday, reports the Squagmattavilleport Times. Bruce McFleas, who lives under a bridge, claims he did not have access to a razor. Local residents, however, have claimed that McFleas' disgusting mass of facial hair could drive their children into the hands of radical Muslims.
or even....
"African American arrested, caught red handed reading book"
Well what ? It could have been a Quran, or a bomb-making manual. And it's better to be safe than sorry isn't it ? And given that he's black, he could be dangerous.
Finland of course doesn't have this problem. Given that no planes have been flown into the World Trade Center in Helsinki, there is no such paranoia. And I can spend the evening outside despite the fact that I, very much like Osama bin Laden, have two arms and two legs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7427206.stm
Ridiculous eh ? But wait, there's more ! The Boston Globe report quotes her as saying that "The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad, popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons."
M has one. Should I get concerned ?
I'm waiting for the next wave of news to come out of the states in its anti-Impending-Apocalypse paranoia.
"Man arrested for growing beard"
A homeless man was arrested for growing a beard yesterday, reports the Squagmattavilleport Times. Bruce McFleas, who lives under a bridge, claims he did not have access to a razor. Local residents, however, have claimed that McFleas' disgusting mass of facial hair could drive their children into the hands of radical Muslims.
or even....
"African American arrested, caught red handed reading book"
Well what ? It could have been a Quran, or a bomb-making manual. And it's better to be safe than sorry isn't it ? And given that he's black, he could be dangerous.
Finland of course doesn't have this problem. Given that no planes have been flown into the World Trade Center in Helsinki, there is no such paranoia. And I can spend the evening outside despite the fact that I, very much like Osama bin Laden, have two arms and two legs.
May 29, 2008
Life in Helsinki Part 3 : The Art of Communication
Learning Finnish is not the key to communication in Finland.
It can be helpful of course, particularly when you get out of the big cities (or, more accurately, big city. Or even more accurately, big town) to where the rural natives have never seen, heard, or know the concept of a foreigner. People in this thriving megapolis, however, do speak English - sometimes in a very funny way too - so the ignorant foreigner can come here and be understood. As I've tried to learn Finnish, and speak it more, I've come to be understood less. When, eventually, someone does understand me, I don't understand what they say back to me. A very constructive relationship with the natives, as can be seen.
What is more important is learning how to speak. That is to say, learning how not to speak. For having a conversation here is quite a difficult task. People may find you arrogant if you speak too much, and I find them boring if/when they speak too little. The key to this is realising that talking is not actually all that important, but giving weight to your words is. Asking someone a long, complex question and then sitting around for half an eternity while they stare into space and finally utter "yes" does get quite irritating but it's also something you get used to. Just like the tramps on the trams, waking up to find the city covered in smoke from some Russian forest fire or people thinking you're too drunk to think straight just because you happen to offer them a beer. On one particularly animated night out in yet another of Helsinki's über-lively nightclubs, a guy came and set next to me in order to inform me that he was very happy that foreigners should choose to live in Finland and to enquire as to whether I was enjoying my stay in this country. Awkward conversation followed and I don't think the guy said anything other than "yes" or "no" to me for the rest of the conversation. Then I met a guy from Angola and things went back to normal.
The exceptions to these awkward conversations are few and far between. There are :
a) Bizarre Finns like M who actually like talking just for the hell of it. Other people are generally intimidated by members of this category.
b) Drunk Finns who are as talkative as anyone else on the planet. These sentences are often short and basic in terms of grammar and sophistication, ("Fuck you", "I'm so drunk !" and "Where is the afterparty ?" are regular phrases one can listen out for) but can still be a breath of fresh air.
c) People from Karelia and Savo regions who are apparently extremely rude because they occasionally interrupt other peoples sentences, an offence which is punishable under Finnish law. I have never met any such people.
d) The old men in long distance trains' restaurant cars who argue about whether or not Finland should have invited Germany to occupy it during World War II. These old men always have someone to argue with as it seems that, no matter how many old men there are and no matter who they are, there always seems to be at least one from each camp. And, as in anywhere in this country which involves a long period of sitting down somewhere, these characters soon metamorphose into category b).
Communication as a topic was chosen today for a simple reason - I lost my mobile phone yesterday, again. Doing so the day after applying for a job possibly wasn't the greatest timing but this happens. It's annoying though. Especially in this country, where 98% of the population owns a mobile phone. My boss sends me my shifts by text message, you call someone when you lose them in a pub instead of looking around for them. In the last place I lived here I paid for the laundrette with my phone, and my parents send me text messages to remind me to reply their emails. I play Snake on the tram when I'm bored, the list is endless. But, you could ask, why in a nation of so few words do so many have mobile phones ? For some reason, Finns speak an incredible amount on their phones. From the greeting "Missä sä oot" ("where are you ?" which for some reason everyone asks - who cares anyway ? It's not like you're going to talk to them face to face) until the ending "Joo, kiva, mooooi" ("yup, nice, bye", which is just as common) people are gossping for ages about how ugly Leena's new handbag is or how Pekka was shagging Annukka AGAIN or how little they remember from the party last night. Strangely, I've seen lots of people who have obviously gone to cafés or bars together and are both sitting at the table..... writing text messages ! I used to think they were just on crap dates and ignoring each other but I'm beginning to suspect they're actually conversing through SMS just to make the whole experience that little bit less difficult. God only knows what these people do when they're stuck in an elevator together or having sex or end up in a pub without a phone OR a television. I'd imagine life is planned so that none of these things really happen.
In public life, of course, things are different. If you want something from a shop or a bar, you have to ask for it. And given that, in general, you won't have the phone number of the girl behind the counter or the guy behind the bar (guys also work behind counters here and girls behind bars, but it seemed overly elaborate to point this out) you have to ask for it, in words, face to face. Fear not though - words have been rationed in these cases as well. I lost the habit of saying goodbye to cashiers a long time ago as the result you'll generally get is a bewildered face before they compose themselves and say goodbye back. "Could I please have a pint of your finest ale, sir" has been compressed into one word - "Tuoppi." This means "pint". I could imagine going into a bar in France, leaning over the bar and declaring "pint", and I could just as easily imagine getting laughed out of there again. Still, less chat with the barstaff does leave you more time to sit in silence with your mates !
The conclusion of this story ? I picked up a new SIM card this afternoon. I can live, work, and talk again. Hallelujah.
It can be helpful of course, particularly when you get out of the big cities (or, more accurately, big city. Or even more accurately, big town) to where the rural natives have never seen, heard, or know the concept of a foreigner. People in this thriving megapolis, however, do speak English - sometimes in a very funny way too - so the ignorant foreigner can come here and be understood. As I've tried to learn Finnish, and speak it more, I've come to be understood less. When, eventually, someone does understand me, I don't understand what they say back to me. A very constructive relationship with the natives, as can be seen.
What is more important is learning how to speak. That is to say, learning how not to speak. For having a conversation here is quite a difficult task. People may find you arrogant if you speak too much, and I find them boring if/when they speak too little. The key to this is realising that talking is not actually all that important, but giving weight to your words is. Asking someone a long, complex question and then sitting around for half an eternity while they stare into space and finally utter "yes" does get quite irritating but it's also something you get used to. Just like the tramps on the trams, waking up to find the city covered in smoke from some Russian forest fire or people thinking you're too drunk to think straight just because you happen to offer them a beer. On one particularly animated night out in yet another of Helsinki's über-lively nightclubs, a guy came and set next to me in order to inform me that he was very happy that foreigners should choose to live in Finland and to enquire as to whether I was enjoying my stay in this country. Awkward conversation followed and I don't think the guy said anything other than "yes" or "no" to me for the rest of the conversation. Then I met a guy from Angola and things went back to normal.
The exceptions to these awkward conversations are few and far between. There are :
a) Bizarre Finns like M who actually like talking just for the hell of it. Other people are generally intimidated by members of this category.
b) Drunk Finns who are as talkative as anyone else on the planet. These sentences are often short and basic in terms of grammar and sophistication, ("Fuck you", "I'm so drunk !" and "Where is the afterparty ?" are regular phrases one can listen out for) but can still be a breath of fresh air.
c) People from Karelia and Savo regions who are apparently extremely rude because they occasionally interrupt other peoples sentences, an offence which is punishable under Finnish law. I have never met any such people.
d) The old men in long distance trains' restaurant cars who argue about whether or not Finland should have invited Germany to occupy it during World War II. These old men always have someone to argue with as it seems that, no matter how many old men there are and no matter who they are, there always seems to be at least one from each camp. And, as in anywhere in this country which involves a long period of sitting down somewhere, these characters soon metamorphose into category b).
Communication as a topic was chosen today for a simple reason - I lost my mobile phone yesterday, again. Doing so the day after applying for a job possibly wasn't the greatest timing but this happens. It's annoying though. Especially in this country, where 98% of the population owns a mobile phone. My boss sends me my shifts by text message, you call someone when you lose them in a pub instead of looking around for them. In the last place I lived here I paid for the laundrette with my phone, and my parents send me text messages to remind me to reply their emails. I play Snake on the tram when I'm bored, the list is endless. But, you could ask, why in a nation of so few words do so many have mobile phones ? For some reason, Finns speak an incredible amount on their phones. From the greeting "Missä sä oot" ("where are you ?" which for some reason everyone asks - who cares anyway ? It's not like you're going to talk to them face to face) until the ending "Joo, kiva, mooooi" ("yup, nice, bye", which is just as common) people are gossping for ages about how ugly Leena's new handbag is or how Pekka was shagging Annukka AGAIN or how little they remember from the party last night. Strangely, I've seen lots of people who have obviously gone to cafés or bars together and are both sitting at the table..... writing text messages ! I used to think they were just on crap dates and ignoring each other but I'm beginning to suspect they're actually conversing through SMS just to make the whole experience that little bit less difficult. God only knows what these people do when they're stuck in an elevator together or having sex or end up in a pub without a phone OR a television. I'd imagine life is planned so that none of these things really happen.
In public life, of course, things are different. If you want something from a shop or a bar, you have to ask for it. And given that, in general, you won't have the phone number of the girl behind the counter or the guy behind the bar (guys also work behind counters here and girls behind bars, but it seemed overly elaborate to point this out) you have to ask for it, in words, face to face. Fear not though - words have been rationed in these cases as well. I lost the habit of saying goodbye to cashiers a long time ago as the result you'll generally get is a bewildered face before they compose themselves and say goodbye back. "Could I please have a pint of your finest ale, sir" has been compressed into one word - "Tuoppi." This means "pint". I could imagine going into a bar in France, leaning over the bar and declaring "pint", and I could just as easily imagine getting laughed out of there again. Still, less chat with the barstaff does leave you more time to sit in silence with your mates !
The conclusion of this story ? I picked up a new SIM card this afternoon. I can live, work, and talk again. Hallelujah.
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