Health And Safety

I'm back ! There's been loads of work, graduation and that rare Finnish commodity, sunshine to enjoy. Now I'm back and I'm going to whine about something again. So please draw up your seats. I've actually been pondering this one for a while - every time I read a story about how "Health and Safety regulations" have been invoked to prevent people from doing something, I get irritated/amused. Hopefully by presenting many examples of this kind of stuff, it can make enough of an effect that this kind of horror in our society will be reduced.

In a recent example from Exeter, (United Kingdom), goggles were banned from school swimming lessons on health and safety grounds. Apparently, if you remove the goggles in an incorrect way can lead to "severe injury".

In another recent laughable example from Peterborough, (United Kingdom), a bunch of OAPs were banned from drinking coffee in case some of it fell out of the mug and burnt children. Accidents do happen I'm sure but I also believe that these people, all of then aged above 50 (and regular drinkers of hot beverages), know how to handle a coffee mug. And if a kid is stupid enough to run around and knock a cup of coffee all over themselves, well - that'll teach them not to run around in a library won't it ?

Old people of course are not only targeted for their disgusting coffee-drinking habits - A group of pensioners in Norwich (United Kingdom) were banned from getting take-away fish and chips due to the fear that the food would go cold and hence cause food poisoning. Thankfully common sense has prevailed in this case at least and the ban has been dropped. The fact that it was even thought about in the first place, though, is pretty sad.

The irony award goes a school in Saffron Walden (United Kingdom) which banned sunscreen under health a safety regulations under the pretense that some of the kids might be allergic to it. Surely sunscreen is a health and safety tool, is it not ? If they develop melanoma in 15 years that's OK - but we're talking about getting a rash from a skin reaction !! Perish the thought !!!

Even more dangerous than applying sunscreen, of course, is taking photographs. A Scottish tourist attraction has in fact banned the taking of photographs completely. Here I quote - "Rosslyn Chapel is to prevent visitors taking any photographs inside the building for fear they will injure themselves." Logical, isn't it ?

From the above it would seem that being out and about is an extremely dangerous pastime - visiting tourist attractions, going to school, meeting up with friends for coffee and lunch are all events which could ruin our lives and cripple us forever. Thankfully we're still safe in our own homes, right ?

WRONG !

A residential block in Stoke-on-Trent (United Kingdom) recently outlawed doormats due to health and safety regulations - in the case of fire, they argued, people would trip over their doormats and this would presumably cause them to die a horrible death. Potted plants were not spared from the legislation and have also been banned. Surely it would make more sense to ban ovens, radiators, frying pans and electricity, the causes of fire in the first place ?

If you have managed to escape from your apartment without lethally falling over, be careful of what is waiting to trip you up outside - last Christmas in Wimborne, Dorset (United Kingdom), the Christmas choir was banned for health and safety reasons due to fears that, in the event of a power cut (seriously) someone could fall over in the dark and injure themselves.

Christmas cheer was also on display in Walton-on-the-Naze, Essex (United Kingdom) when a Christmas tree was banned for health and safety regulations after the volunteers who put it up failed to provide a 20-tonne concrete foundation to prevent the thing from falling down. And current regulations allow us to wander around in forests where trees have only natural foundations and fall over violently whenever a storm appears ?! Sheer madness ! What are they thinking !

And finally, just to show that people remember that Christmas is, above all, for the children, a shopping centre in Hemel Hempstead (.....United Kingdom) let the kids in on the act too when they banned a troupe of Brownies from singing Christmas Carols for health and safety reasons after it was discovered that a group of singing young girls would block fire escapes.

I remember when I was a kid being told that we have things a lot softer than our parents generation did. Comparing my life as a kid to what there is today though, we lived in a war zone ! We fell over playing football and got blood on our knees, we ran around without being told to stop, and we could even wear goggles to the swimming pool without being lectured about how dangerous they were ! One of the reasons I'd like to live to be an old man (despite the fact that I wouldn't be allowed to drink coffee or eat take-away) is that I want to see what would actually be allowed any more in 2050. I know I have a bunch of small cousins who are more cautious than I have ever been about anything and I feel sorry for them. Maybe I should go and give them a good beating, show them the daring and freespirited living of the 20th century that the world used to enjoy....

Rant over (to be continued)